This has been a very difficult emotional week for me with lots of soul searching and doubting my own faith in my life. I left my old life to begin anew in a city that I knew no one, heard an inner calling to move here to do my spiritual work, and heard my calling to take a job at a small college to help students, faculty, and staff who have been sexually assaulted, harassed, and discriminated against.
Along with this calling came the difficult hurdles that are very emotionally challenging, including confronting my demons, my childhood abuse, and facing my fears head on. There were many moments that I wanted to quit, and just run away. There were days that my tears ran dry from crying. My heart ached from pain that I repressed for most my life, and I re-experienced physical pains from childhood. Ascension or spiritual work is not for the faint of heart. We are challenged at every step, and through every step we muster courage to continue.
Yesterday during rock climbing, I climbed a route that I never conquered, but last night, I overcame my own body weight and the physical pain to ascend to the top! This is so symbolic of the work that I have done so far. Last night I also had a dream, and in this dream, I was told that my reward for the spiritual work I will accomplish is that I will finally get what I really want in my life. When I awoke this morning, I cried tears of joy and gave my gratitude for all the blessings I am given. Blessings and love to you, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Burrowing Owl Press/Brooke Chang with All Rights Reserved)
3 thoughts on “Accepting Faith”
In Indian music some Ragas (like symphonies or themes) have all 7 notes of the scale, others have one or two prohibited notes that dare not be touched – so the melody forms not despite them but because of their absence making the melody strange and beautiful, more so sometimes the 7 note ragas – i think our life’s road maps are like that – each has some missing note which makes his or her life strangely unique with its own beauty and pathos.
I appreciate all your wise insights and thoughts. Namaste, Brooke
Thank you for your love and support. Blessings and love, Brooke