Learning to be Alone

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The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it is not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of the other person – without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.”  – Osho

The above practice of learning to be alone and being with oneself is probably one of the most difficult part of our spiritual practice.  First of all, it’s a pretty scary feeling. When Osho talks about being alone, I believe he means being physically and emotionally alone.  It is when we stand on our own physical and emotional feet where we look to no others for physical and emotional support. It can feel very solitary.

It’s been about two months that I have experienced this aloneness in my life. Although I have been physically alone in my life, I always had a husband or boyfriend who was there for me emotionally.  I am pushing the envelope of my comfort zone. In fact, this summer I am spending a week in Italy completely by myself without any companions on my trip.  This is to practice being independent, self reliant, and courageous.  I am very excited like a kid going to the first day of school, both apprehensive and exhilarated.

This practice will help me understand my own emotional strength, and develop self confidence. Finally, I am on my way to learning self love that only I can give to myself. Pushing the envelope of my comfort zone is a form of self love, nurturing my self esteem, and showing myself my own strength and internal power.  May you find strength in your aloneness.  Sending blessings, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

10 responses to “Learning to be Alone”

  1. What a wonderful quote. And very true. It’s empowering to be happy on your own. I hope you enjoy Italy… I lived there for a while and had my first bit of true self-reliance while traveling alone there. It’s beautiful!

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    1. Hi Joy, thank you for your supportive comments on my post. I know Italy will prove to be an important part of my journey and learning experience through its warm people and wonderful culture. Love & light, Brooke

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    1. Thank you, again. Blessings of light, Brooke

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  2. Going through a similar phase. Could connect with you!

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    1. Thank you for sharing your comment on my post, and for connecting here on my blog! Namaste, Brooke

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      1. Pleasure’s all mine… 🙂

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  3. I think I have the opposite to learn. I have always been comfortable on my own. traveling, living, being without a partner. I feel a great satisfaction in being alone, my world is exactly how I make it. How ever when this is the comfort zone then letting go of the reigns becomes the lesson. Letting others alter your equation and being fine with it. Allowing others to follow themselves and just be there for them. This post was great. For me it was like looking into a mirror and seeing things reversed. xx

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    1. Thank you for sharing your story with me. I hope you find your path through your life lessons. Blessings on your journey. Brooke

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  4. Each of us is ready, only when they are ready. Allow others to follow their paths in their own time. If they choose not to change, then that is their free will. I am coming to understand this myself, and all difficult lessons to learn. Blessings, Brooke

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