When we have suffered childhood abuse, there is a part of us that feels responsible for others hurting us. When we were children, we could not defend or protect ourselves against adults who were stronger, manipulative, and knowledgeable about the world. But as adults, we continue this pattern of letting others hurt us, because we have been conditioned to feel this hurt, pain, and suffering as a normal part of our lives. Sometimes, we even seek out this pain, rejection, and drama in our lives when we are living a calm, safe, and happy existence alone or with a partner.
When we begin to have awareness of our own behaviors, we begin to feel bad about ourselves, and wonder what is wrong with us? This is the turning point for our lives, when we see the damage and hurt that we cause and inflict upon ourselves, and begin to seek a different life. This turning point for me began in college when a boyfriend beat me up every week. When he finally left me with bruises all over me, torn clothes, and jewelry ripped from my body, I began to seek psychological therapy.
Unfortunately, even with therapy, I continued to allow men in my life to to hurt me and cause me much pain, resulting in more emotional healing work that I must do to recover in order to have a healthy life. These have been many tough lessons for me to learn, but I have learned these lesson so as not to repeat them again. As part of this emotional recovery work, we must begin to forgive ourselves as adults for letting others hurt us.
This is part of the shame that we must deal with when we work on self esteem and self worth issues. When we can forgive ourselves in this way, we begin to understand that we were wounded and hurt, and that was all we knew. We begin to realize that we are worthy of protection, of being love unconditionally, and of being shown compassion, no matter how flawed we are and how many times we have made mistakes. May you find forgiveness for yourselves today, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

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