PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING

For those of us who experienced childhood trauma, I have observed a similar pattern.  That pattern is our need to change the outcome from that of our childhood experiences. For example, if we failed to receive love from our parents as children, then we seek that love from those in our current lives who remind us of our parents.  If we failed to get approval from our parents, then we seek this approval from those in our current lives who represent our parents such as an authority figures or someone who is similar to our parents.

This is a trap of trying to change this outcome which is what I have done for most of my life causing me to repeat these dysfunctional relationships with others throughout my life.   What I did was to become attracted to someone resembling my parents, then I attempt to change the outcome to make them love me or approve of me.  Each time, my attempts failed because I failed to learn my lesson that is to change the pattern and not the outcome.

When we meet someone who resembles our parents, what we need to do is to acknowledge that no matter what we do, the outcome will always be the same with these individuals because it is the nature of these dysfunctional relationships.  When we are able to admit this to ourselves, we then have accepted our past and childhood experiences.   By admitting this to ourselves, we begin to change this pattern of engaging with people similar to our parents thereby breaking the cycle of relationships with these types of individuals.  This is how we break our patterns of dysfunctional relationships in our adults lives.

It has taken me a long time to come to this realization, but once I have done so, I will begin to change the pattern that I have been hard wired to behave.  May you accept your past and change your patterns of behavior, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)