PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING

As I move forward in my emotional healing work, I didn’t realize how fearful of and angry I am toward my mother.  While I was growing up, my mother who is mentally ill, became angry and out of control yelling and screaming.  She was resentful and jealous of my relationship with others. She felt that if others liked me than it injured her self worth.  She created conflicts and manipulated my relationships with others.  It was so hurtful to me, and caused fear and great distrust of her.

 Throughout my life, I attracted women like this into my life.  In fact, my current supervisor is such a person who has attempted to injure my and other subordinates’ relationship with our coworkers and students.  She is resentful of others having a good relationship as she is incapable of building relationship herself.  Like my mother, her erratic and hurtful behaviors toward others drive people away, and she is bewildered by this.

 As I try to understand why another person like my mother is brought into my life, I realize the work that is before me.  I must come to accept her for who she is, and that nothing I do can change the outcome of my relationship with someone like my mother.  It is coming to acceptance that I must forgive her for who she is and what she did to me.  The truth is that there is nothing for me to do except to accept my childhood with a mentally ill mother who frightened me, and that I must forgive her for she knows not what she did no matter how hateful or hurtful her behavior was toward me.

 Once I accept this, I can let go of my mother to heal my past, and walk away without attracting women like her again into my life. I pray for this day.  May you find acceptance and forgiveness of those who hurt you, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)