PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING

I have been attempting to release my ego for the last year or so, and it has been such a struggle.  My ego is from where my jealousy and fear rise like a tidal wave.  No matter how hard I practice ego observing and emotional release practice, I sill have this ego haunting me. The result is that I end up running away from my fears and avoiding any opportunities for jealousy.  But this is no way to live my life.

What I have observed is that the ego cannot survive without being nourished.  My ego hungers for praise, approval, adoration, and acceptance by others.  As I practice ego observing, I am aware of what is happening to me. However, when we are involved with others particularly romantically, somehow we are unable to see this as objectively.

 I recently noticed this about myself when someone took an interest in me, and spent much time praising my appearance, noticing how attractive I am, how beautifully I dressed, and so on.  At first,  I felt really flattered and even a little taken by this, then I realized that he was feeding my ego.  I do not believe all praise is about feeding ego, but it is only when we need it and feed on it.

There have been those who are compassionate and kind toward me, but I find this to be different than ego stroking or boosting.  Ego stroking does not feel genuine when others say that I am perfect, beautiful, and flawless, as it simply does not ring true.  When I find myself being flattered or effected by this, then I know this is feeding my ego.

Now you may say, what is so wrong with feeding ego and needing or enjoying praise, approval, and adoration?  When we feed our ego, we will never be able to release our ego completely as it generates fear, jealousy, envy, anger, greed, etc. within us. This is why many in the spiritual community work toward transcending ego.  Some say that ego never dies, that is because we continue to nourish it and as we continue to nourish our ego, it grows more powerful.  May you find release of your ego, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)