Recently, I have come to realize much about myself and the spiritual and emotional healing work that I have been doing. When my Kundalini energy first rose in March 2011, I became acutely aware of being triggered emotionally by most people. After four years of emotional healing work, I have come to realize that I am triggered because of my own emotional wounds within me. It was easier for me to blame those who triggered me for my pain and suffering. However as I heal, I have become aware that I would be triggered emotionally to become upset or distressed while others are not under the same situation.
My coping skill was to run and hide from people, but inevitably when I ran away from one person who triggered me, there would just be another right around the corner. With each layer of healing, I am becoming less and less reactive. However, there are still those in my life who trigger deeper wounds that I have not yet healed particularly in romantic relationship as they trigger deep wounds involving my traumatic childhood.
Another observation is that I accused others of entering my energy field without my permission, and I have come to realize that this energy that I feel is being created by me. When I think about certain people, my energy would reactive differently, and I was really feeling my own energy reacting rather than someone else entering my field without my permission. This revelation has required me to take responsibility for my own energy, and what happens within my own field.
These experiences tell me that I must begin to take responsibility for my pain and suffering and what happens within my own energy field as they are related to the emotional wounds within me. Ironically, these things don’t even have anything to do with the choices we make as it is inevitable that we must interact with others in life. We will be triggered by different people with whom we interact, because we are walking around with these wounds within us. Even when we perceive other’s entering our energy fields, we really are feeling our own energy reacting to a certain situation or person also as a result of our emotional wounds or feelings within.
These revelations have changed my perspective to begin searching for the answers within myself rather than seeking blame or answers externally through others. No true healing will take place as long as we put the focus on the external. May you find true healing in your life. (Copyright 2015 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)
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