PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING

“Humour allows us to see that ultimately things don’t make sense. The only thing that truly makes sense is letting go of anything we continue to hold on to. Our ego-mind and emotions are a dramatic illusion. Of course, we all feel that they’re real: my drama, your drama, our confrontations. We create these elaborate scenarios and then react to them. But there is nothing really happening outside our mind! This is karma’s cosmic joke. You can laugh about the irony of this, or you can stick with your scenario. It’s your choice.” ~ Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche

In the last few years, I have struggled with letting go of things and people who no longer serve my higher path as this has never been easy for me.  In this struggle, I have learned some effective steps in letting go.  Recently, I read the above quote and realize how I have been living in this ego created illusion.

Our ego-minds and emotions create these dramatic illusions, and then we react to them.  It is what I call self created hardships, and unnecessary suffering.  As I began practicing these steps, my life has begun to change dramatically.  I am attracting different friends and relationships, am creating a home and life for myself, and am flourishing in my career that is serving a higher purpose.  I hope these steps work for you.

Find a higher purpose for your life: 

Finding a higher purpose in our lives helps us get up in the morning and persevere through the difficulties of life.  I find working with sexual assault and domestic violence victims to be rewarding, and this is a calling for me to help college age students with their life struggles.

Find a life without the people you are letting go:

Change your own thinking about your situation can alleviate most of our angst and suffering.  If you were romantically involved or married, but facing a breakup, then find another life for yourself.  I began to give up my plans and dreams of a future with them.  I found another life for myself, and my future has all sorts of possibilities with many different people now.

Learn to be alone and treat yourself well:

This is learning to love yourself.  Treat yourself to something you have always wanted from someone else.  I always have wanted to be taken away on a romantic weekend to a city, lake, or mountain.  Recently, I made a reservation for one at a bed and breakfast to treat myself, and did romantic things for myself. Be in love with yourself first!

Learn to look at your life as an observer:

When things go wrong in our lives, and they always do, observe these events like you are watching a movie.  Watch these events without judging them.  For many, this is accomplished through meditation.  When we do this, we will find solutions and problem solve without the great suffering of our ego’s negative emotions.

Forgive, forgive, and forgive:

Everyone makes mistakes.  We make them and others make them too.  Forgive them, but you need not keep them in your lives.  Move on and let go of your suffering.  When you make mistakes, forgive yourself and stop punishing yourself.

Treat others as you would like to be treated:

Treat others with kindness and compassion, as this creates trust and love with others.  This means no violations of this trust by cheating, lying, manipulating, and even misrepresenting by omission to our loved ones.  Set healthy boundaries by telling your loved ones what you need from them instead of cheating, lying, manipulating, and misrepresenting to them. These healthy behaviors will attract healthier people into your lives as you let go of unhealthy behaviors.

Laugh at your mistakes and missteps:

Inevitably, we will all make mistakes.  Laugh at yourself for being human. Recognize your mistakes and missteps so as not to repeat them again.

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