PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING

Four and half years ago, two people were brought into my life to help me resolve the emotional pain from my past childhood abuse.  These two people played the role in my current life of the dynamic from my childhood.  When I encountered them, I felt horrible emotional pain of rejection, hurt, betrayal, jealousy, anger, and many other painful emotions.  In the past when I interacted with them, I argued, disagreed, and engaged in ego battles with them.

I believe we were all brought into each other’s lives to play this important role of reflecting back or mirroring our deepest and darkest emotional pain. That is, we mirrored for each other the emotional pain from our own past trauma and abuse whether as a child or adult.  When I realized the purpose that these individuals served on my spiritual journey, I stopped blaming them for hurting me or causing me pain, but realized that the emotional darkness and pain is within me.  When we continue to blame others for hurting us or slighting us, we are not facing our own darkness and pain.  If we continue to defend and battle with others, this is called denial.

After over four years of facing this darkness and confronting the awful emotional pain from my childhood trauma, I felt something very different recently.  When I encountered them recently, I no longer internalized the emotional pain of feeling responsible for what happened, feeling shame, feeling anger, or feeling resentful or jealous.  The emotional pain from my childhood is no longer mine to hold, and I have somehow let it go.

How do you know that you have let go of your emotional painful past?   Our lives begin to change, as things begin to fall into place in our lives. We begin to find love, abundance, friendship, trust, and joy.  These things begin to manifest in our lives without having to go out to seek them.  It is different from escape or avoidance that we must manufacture these for ourselves, and we force things to happen.

I also am no longer taking responsibility for others’ behaviors, actions, and decisions as it is not my karma to bear.  In freeing myself from my past, I can move forward only after walking through the darkness and confronting my childhood trauma and emotional pain for over four years. I am finally able to move onto the life that I deserve full of love, trust, and joy.  Now, I just wish them both well, and send them healing light.  (Copyright 2015 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)