Last night, I attended an event called Fear2Freedom. This event is to help and support sexual violence victims by assembling items needed after their forensics exams, such as clothing, hairbrush, tooth brush and paste, toiletries, etc., and this above teddy bear. After forensics exams, all the clothing and items worn by the victims are taken for evidence gathering, and the victims leave the hospital in paper scrubs.
The teddy bear above also is part of the kit, and in her heart area is a pocket where you could insert a piece of paper written with your fear about your sexual violence. When you have overcome your fear, you remove this piece of paper and place it in a glass of water where the ink will dissolve as a symbol of your emotional healing.
During this event, a short film showed many victims who were strong enough to talk about their sexual violence as every 2 minutes in the United States someone is sexual assaulted or abused mostly by someone they know. This was such a moving events and brought up the grief from my own childhood sexual abuse and subsequent sexual assault I suffered as an adult. When we have childhood trauma, the violence will frequently repeat as I also have observed with many of the students with whom I work.
The grief and despair I experienced after this event was deep. Somehow, I believed that I had overcome my grief of losing my innocence as my childhood was taken from me and replaced with fear for my own safety, loss of trust from those I love, and feelings of isolation and shame. As an adult, I allowed men to manipulate, injure, and abuse me. The grief of all this loss overwhelmed me with great sadness. However, this morning, I came onto WordPress and found an article on grief that made me realize that I am not alone as grief comes upon all of us. As humans, we experience loss and it is part of the human experience.
As part of my recovery, I was expecting some kind of apology from those who hurt me, but those apologies never came, instead these individuals blamed me for their violations and harm against me. In each of these situations, females who were violated themselves in the past contributed to the situation which I find very sad and troubling. For our own recovery, however, we must accept the apology we never received, and forgive them for their trespasses against us. (Copyright 2015 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)
3 thoughts on “On Grief”
Thank you for sharing this.
It must be very hard to overcome the anger, shock and grief after childhood abuse. It is amazing to see how bravely you deal with this.
I recently read two books by Robert Schwartz about pre-incarnation planning of our life’s challenges. I especially liked the second book , Your Soul’s Gift. It has shed a whole new light on life’s hardships for me. It just came into my mind after reading your article and I want to ask whether you know it already.
The books contain interviews with psychic mediums who have access to the pre-birth planning dialogues in the Akashic records of the people who have suffered unbelievably in this life. All kinds of tragedies, like being adopted and feeling unloved throughout life, being raped, and being an alcoholic for several decades.
As it turns out in the interviews, many of these events were planned before incarnation. Why would someone plan to become an alcoholic for 40 years? Why would someone else plan to be the wife or daughter of this alcoholic?
The underlying reason was always to bring issues into consciousness so that it enables or forces the person to look for the light inside of themselves, to learn self-love and so on.
I found these books eye-opening and it made me wonder whether and how much of my own hardship (which is tiny compared with yours) I have planned before incarnation , and why I would have done this.
I wonder whether these books might be of interest to you.
With best wishes for your journey and your healing.
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Thank you for sharing these books and information with me. I feel very certain that my soul intended these events for this lifetime. Because of my experience, I am learning to love myself and using my experience to help others overcome their pain and grief. In past lifetimes, I was unable to accomplish this, as I have memories of my past lifetimes of grief when my mother died when I was very young in one lifetime, and I was forced to give up my daughter for adoption in another. This lifetime feels very different as I feel empowered and sharing this empowerment with others. Sending you blessings and love!
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Wow, you remember past lifetimes. That is amazing. Thanks for sharing!
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