Releasing Guilt: True Path to Freedom

I have been exploring releasing my need for approval from others, and the subsequent feelings of guilt for setting healthy boundaries with them. Guilt is such a destructive emotion and force within us. The cycle goes something like this. I realize that I am in a relationship with someone with unhealthy boundaries. I then set the boundary with them after explaining why I cannot accommodate their request. They become angry, resentful, and hurt. I realize that I really need to let this person go, but because I live within the same community, I still need to interact with them. Then feelings of guilt set in and I find some way back into a relationship with these individuals with unhealthy boundaries, and the cycle repeats.

This cycle is called the cycle of “suffering,” when we engaged with those with unhealthy boundaries, many who are mentally and physically unhealthy. Many will bully you into breaking down your healthy boundaries. This is not unusual for many, I suspect. Getting out of the cycle of “suffering” is key in staying healthy yourself. It also means that we must be willing to give up the approval we seek from these individuals.

The key question is why do we seek approval from those who are emotionally and physically unhealthy? I surmise that it goes back to our families of origin who forced us to live with their unhealthy boundaries and strict code of conduct and rules. Becoming aware of this dynamic with others is the first step in escaping this cycle of “suffering.” Setting healthy boundaries and sticking to them to protect ourselves is a form of self love, and don’t let anyone bully or manipulate you into giving up your healthy boundaries. It is our true path to freedom! Unhealthy people keep us in sickness, both mentally and physically like crabs in a bucket. Crabs pull each other down when one crab tries to escape from the bucket in which they are trapped. (Copyright 2022 Burrowing Owl Press/Brooke Chang with all rights reserved. This post may not be copied, duplicated, or excerpted without the express permission of this author.)

Author: Brooke Chang

Hi, I'm Brooke who will be taking you on a healing journey to a more joyful life. I will serve as your guide on this healing journey sharing my insights, knowledge and experiences. I hope you will join me! View all posts by Brooke Chang