Kundalini – Pathway to Joy and Healing

Signs of Twin Flames

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Many have commented and questioned about my Twin Flame relationship. These are the 14 signs and symptoms of Twin Flames relationship based on my personal experience as follows:

* Synchronicity and organic initial meeting (we met in person in Cinque Terre, Italy when we both live in the United States)
* Sexual experiences together are tantric (dual energetic circuits)
* Rise of Kundalini energy during the journey together
* Able to feel each other’s emotions and experiences from the beginning (energetically and emotionally)
* Similar life experiences and emotional landscapes although different races, ethnicity, and cultures
* Incredible compatibility (best friends)
* Intense sexual and energetic connection ( intense sexual chemistry)
* Time stands still during our journey together
* Similar core values
* Similar spiritual journeys
* Similar professions
* Similar interests
* Similar lifestyle
* Similar tastes and preferences

These are the 14 signs and symptoms that I have experienced with my Twin Flame while others may experience other connections . Although we also may experience these symptoms between two Kundalini active individuals, the compatibility and similarity between the two individuals are likely to diverge in their values, professions, interests, lifestyle, tastes and preferences. Every Twin Flame experience is slightly different, but the similarities outweigh the differences. It is both a compatible existence, but also a sexually intense connection.

The key to Twin Flame success is the ability to communicate about the intensity of this relationship, and working through the spiritual and emotional hurdles we face together. My twin and I spend time each day to share how we are progressing on our respective spiritual journeys and our emotional healing progress. We talk openly and authentically about our fears and how to work through the darkness we each face. Twin Flames trigger each other’s emotional wounds, and reflect back to one another our darkness and lightness.

When I address my concerns about my twin, I am truly addressing my own injuries and wounds. Whenever issues arise between us, I know I must do my own emotionally healing work just as he must do his work. We are working hard and progressing forward together as his Kundalini energy is rising now, and his emotional work must be done in order for this Kundalini rising to be smooth and without so much physical pain and discomfort as it was for me. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Living as an Empath

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Living as an empath has its drawbacks. One is not knowing if feelings I am experiencing is mine or others. Recently, I experienced three episodes of anxiety attacks while with my Twin Flame. One of these episodes occurred near an art gallery where I felt horrible pains in my chest and in my heart chakra of emotional pain and hurt. I ask my Twin if he had a negative experience there, and he described that a gallery owner earlier rejected his art work .

On two recent hikes together with my twin, I felt panic attacks when we were discussing about his artistic and musical pursuits. The first episode involved anxiety with tightness in my chest, and difficult breathing. The second episode involved tightness in my chest and nausea. When I described these feelings to my Twin, he expressed that he had been experiencing nausea in the morning for about a year. During each of these episodes, I sense thoughts of not being good enough or unworthiness.

I am in the process of understanding why I am experiencing feelings of panic and anxiety. Are my feelings of unworthiness being triggered within me? Since he is my twin, we have similar emotional wounds, so am I merely mirroring the negative emotions of unworthiness, lack, and insecurities? As I am energetically connected to my twin, am I experiencing his symptoms of panic and anxiety?

I sense that he blames others, particularly women for his feeling of inadequacy. Are we both blaming others for our own feelings of inadequacy? Maybe this is simply a mirroring of two Twin Flames trying to unravel our issues that are intertwined. I continue to struggle to understand what is actually happening. If you have any insights, please feel free to share and comment below. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

In the End

In the end, everything works out for the best. Over four years ago, I was involved in a destructive triangle with two Kundalini active people. As I was abused as a child, this was the dynamic from my childhood. These two individuals were married to others when they became emotionally and energetically involved.

The irony in all this, is that the spouses of these two individuals moved onto others who love them now, and they are in happy committed relationships. When I was involved with the man in this triangle, the woman was married to someone else.

Even I moved on to find love in my life, and am in a committed relationship with someone who is perfect for me. It appeared that these two individuals served as life lessons for all three of us of what we don’t want in our lives.

As a result of meeting these two Kundalini active people, I was able to find, after letting them go, a loving and kind man who is good to me. I am grateful that I met these two Kundalini active individuals because I will never repeat this type of behavior with anyone else again.

I believe these two individuals serve as important life lessons for many they encounter. As I reflect back now, I am no longer angry, but I feel very grateful that they forced me to let go of my past, and showed me the right and higher path. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with all rights reserved.)

Creating Our Illusions

Through addiction, we create an illusion for our lives. Some are addicted to people called codependency, some to places called destination addiction, some to substances such as drugs or alcohol, and some to activities such as work, gambling or gaming.

Addiction is a form of self medication or negative coping skill we developed to deal with our trauma or loss. It is a way of escaping or suppressing the negative emotions that exist within us. We even find others or are attracted to others with the same addiction to validate our illusions.

I had destination addiction for a long time. The big difference in my life now is I no longer wish I am somewhere else to be happy. Every day, I recalled an exotic location to dream about my happiness there. These day dreams would be a romantizied memory of my past. This is called destination addiction, and truly is only an escape from my unhappy life.

I am learning to find happiness within myself wherever I am. True happiness does not exist in another place, even a beautiful place. True happiness is in the current moment in your present life. May you find happiness where you are! (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with all rights reserved.)

Through Dreams

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In my dreams last night, I said goodbye to those in my past who I will not have an opportunity to say goodbye as I move onto the next phase of my journey. In my dream, I spoke to each person separately saying my farewells. My interaction with these important individuals who I encountered on my journey either taught me lessons, tested me, or showed me truths about myself.

Although they are no longer in my life now, their contributions to my emotional healing and spiritual growth were necessary, and I thank them as I no longer harbor any animosity or ill will against them. We must be willing to let go of these relationships by understanding that they no longer lead somewhere as our time together have ended.

Letting go feels like a huge weight has lifted from my heart. My higher self tells me to let go, and don’t hang on because this letting go is necessary for me to move forward as I no longer need to carry such heavy baggage with me along my journey.

As I lighten my load on my journey, I gave away possessions, gave away valuables, and gave up emotional pain and hurt. The lightening of my load means to release, let go, and forgive myself and others. It is through this letting go that gives us peace and harmony, allows us to find happiness and joy, and attracts love and passion into our lives.

After giving up the people, places, and situations of my past, I shall finally find my dreams and peace, joy, and love will naturally flow into my life. I will finally get a second chance at my life. In 2017, may you find your dreams. (Copyright 2o16 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

First Step to Transformation

It has taken me most of this lifetime to find inner peace. It has always been illusive to me because I wanted to control everyone, everything, and all situations around me. As a person who experienced childhood abuse, this is the natural response after experiencing trauma. Most people are on auto pilot using the same negative behaviors and coping skills throughout our lives.

Many people including myself engaged in negative behaviors or coping skills without any awareness as that was how we survived our trauma. We continue to use the same coping skills and negative behaviors in our every day life until one day we see patterns exhibited in our lives full of failures, disappointments, and frustrations.

We awaken to who we have become as a result of our negative experiences, traumas, or abuses. This awakening is the realization that our lives are not the outcomes we had hope, and is not the life we want to be living. It is a rude awakening for many of us including myself. I had become the person that I vowed never to become.

This realization, recognition, and acknowledgment of who I had become was a necessary step to changing my life. It is not an optional step in transformation. Many people who are alcoholic, drug addicts, abusers, etc. will tell you that every recovery program requires this acknowlegment before recovering may begin.

Sometimes, the first step is the hardest. The recovery work is difficult, but recovery cannot take place until we have acknowledged our problems and reality. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Love: Living Beyond Dependency

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The truth is that most of our relationships are dependencies. Love is unconditional while dependency requires the condition that we are with the other person or that we serve certain conditions in each other’s lives. Dependency is a form of addiction. All my relationships until recently have been dependencies, either serving as a victim or an enabler.

As I move forward on my spiritual journey, I have very honest conversations with myself about who I still have dependency relationships in my current life. These are the signs I have come to realize that strongly indicate dependency relationships:

If either person fears doing or saying things as the other will become upset or angry.
If either person become upset or angry when they can’t control outcomes.
If either person is not happy for the other when one is successful and moving forward in their life.
If either person will not allow relationships with third-parties without jealousy, drama, or arguments.
If either person feel that their happiness is dependent on the other in this relationship, and can’t live without the other.
If either person needs to seek love outside of themselves.
If either person is waiting to be saved (victim), or is a care giver (enabler).
If either person blames the other for how they feel or their failures.

If these signs exhibit in your relationships, you have dependency relationships with others. Before I began my spiritual journey five years ago, I exhibited all these signs in all my relationships, and I was a difficult person to be with. I loathed myself, had little self esteem, and gave from a place of lack. When I raised my consciousness about who I was, it was difficult to see this darkness about myself.

I began to change my life for the better, once I was able to see the truth about myself. I began to learn self acceptance, self love, independence, self sufficiency, and ridding the negative patterns in my life one of which is leaving dependency relationships behind. Even if these relationships are virtual like on social media, I can still feel their anger and rage through their words and energy.

With each day, I leave more and more dependency relationships behind as I prefer being alone to dependency relationships in my life now. Sometimes, it takes great determination to leave these people, things, and situations that no longer serve our highest potential. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Accepting the End

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When I saw this above meme, I realize it was speaking to me. For the past five years, I have been letting go of everything I have ever known or understood about my own life. It is a gradual process of releasing my ego’s identity and how I see myself. It is the Dark Night of the Soul as many describe on their spiritual journeys.

This awareness and recognition of who I was and my darkness within, gave me the vision and intention to change my life once and for all. Along the way, I had to leave my old negative patterns of behaviors and thinking, and leaving people, things and places behind in order to transform my own life.

I do not believe it is possible to keep your old life, and live a completely different new life. In my opinion, it is an illusion and fiction we tell ourselves so as to avoid doing the necessary hard and real emotional work in order to transform and heal.

I have observed many including Kundalini active individuals who exist through spiritual bypass. Please see my earlier post on “Awareness of Spiritual Bypass.” During spiritual bypass, they focus on intuitive powers and only on the spiritual light, experience ego inflation, avoid the darkness that is within each of us, or engaged in inappropriate or abusive behaviors convincing themselves that this is intended to help others. Unfortunately, a life changing or traumatic event in their lives will bring them back to their unresolved emotional issues as they have been operating in ego or smaller selves.

I have come to understand that Kundalini active individuals are no different than others. Although we have heightened intuitive abilities and have the ability to accerelerate our emotional healing, if we don’t raise our consciousness, release our egos, or confont the darkness within us, no healing will take place and our intuitive abilities may be used to harm others through manipulations by convincing ourselves that this is intended to help others.

I have been the victim of such spiritual abuse and have observed Kundalini active individuals engaged in sexual exploitation, sexual molestation, sexual assault, marital infidelity, and others boundary violations. I have since forgiven them for these trepasses. However, if you don’t use your gifts for good, you can lie to yourself and others by convincing yourself that these violations are to help and benefit others.

Our ego’s denial is a tricky thing, and we all fall prey to it. If we identify with ego, we will believe this denial. It is easier to just see the light within ourselves, but it is the darkness within that we must confront and transform before true light is possible. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Understanding Rage

I have come to understand that all humans have rage, but just in differing degrees. This rage is the result of unadressed accumulated painful or traumatic experiences over the course of many soul lives. Rage can be expressed outwardly or inwardly, or a combination of the two.

I have observed many who turn their rage inwardly toward themselves. They self mutilate and harm, such as cutting, suicide attempts, substance abuse, anorexia, addictions, etc. Other turn their rage outwardly by harming others, such as verbal and physical altercations, physical and sexual assaults, destruction of theirs or others possessions, instigation conflicts, etc.

Earlier in my life, I exhibited turning the rage toward myself through self harm as I was so depressed and anxious that I had suicidal thoughts and addictions, but I also exhibited anger outwardly as I instigated conflicts, started verbal altercations, and destroyed possessions. I am not proud of my past, but I acknowledged and confronted my reality in order to change these negative patterns in my life.

When I am around others who exhibit these behaviors now, I provide resources and support to them when they request help and assistance. However, the majority of the people I encounter still are in deep denial and in deep slumber. It appears that awakening is still very far off for them because of their fear of the truth. I also believe that those who are Kundalini active still may remain in denial, as the rise of Kundalini energy does not equate to awakening or enlightenment as this energy merely provide the potential for awakening or enlightenment.

It has been difficult for me as I help those who ask for help, but I also move on from those who remain in denial. I believe that my energy is better served to help those who are on the cusp of awareness and transformation, but my energy is simply wasted on those who wish to remain in denial. It feels like bashing my head against a brick wall over and over again. I try to send these people love and healing energy from afar, but I choose to move onto those who really want and accept my help for their transformation.

During this holiday, I wish for peace, love, and awareness for all of humanity. May we heal ourselves and our world. Sending blessings of love, peace, and joy to you! (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

The Feeling of Letting Go

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How do you know if you have healed your emotional pain? I explain this to many seuxally assaulted students with whom I work. You know because you no longer are triggered by people, places, and events that remind you of the trauma or negative experience. This is what I have learned.

Recently, I looked back at the people who hurt me, lied to me, and manipulated me. In the past, I would feel hurt, pain, break down in tears, and want to stay far away from these reminders. Now, I reflect back at these individuals and feel neutral or no reactions to them.

Nearly two years ago, I left a very destructive relationship with a Kundalini active man who was involved with a married women. After their six year affair that broke up three marriages, they finally admitted to me in March 2015 after this woman’s husband left her, that they were emotionally and romantically involved. My relationship with this man also broke up my own marriage.

I left all this behind nearly two years ago as I no longer could tolerate the destruction these two people created as I also contributed to this destruction. I do not wish them ill now, but I also do not welcome them back into my life. When I left them behind, my entire life changed as I was able to allow different and positive energy to enter into my life.

My entire direction of my journey changed from that of old negative patterns, to awareness of these patterns, to completley letting go of these patterns. As I release these patterns, the people who still engaged in these patterns fell away or I asked them to leave my life as they no longer resonated at the same energy frequency as me.

This amazing letting go of old behaviors and patterns have completely changed my life, including the quality of my life and the people I attract. Through this miracle, I move toward in a brand new direction and path for my spiritual and emotional growth. We must release old negative energy to make room for new healthy energy in our lives. I believe this is how we change and grow through this letting go. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)