Twin Flame Tantra


Tantra has little to do with sex at all. In my twin flame relationship, this is the first time I have experienced tantra. Tantra is about unconditional love, energetic connection through Source or Divine energy, and spiritual ascension through sacred sexuality.

People confuse tantra with sex, because it is expressed through sacred sexuality. As I experience my relationship with my twin flame, I begin to understand that tantra is about deep unconditional love for another.

As a results of this deep unconditional love, we are able to experience an otherworldly energetic and spiritual connection through Source or Divine energy. We are able to experience sexuality and sensuality very differently then sexual intercourse.

Sexual intercourse is a mere sex act. Through Tantra, we experience heightened sexuality and sensuality without the goal of orgasm, but we focus on the pleasure and connection through this deep unconditional love with our partner.

It is truly sacred, and the sexuality between twin flames is the true extension of unconditional and deep love for our twin. My experience is that we transcend physical and worldly sexual intercourse for a deep and spiritual connection with another being. (Awakening Journey Copyright 2017 with all rights reserved)

Working through Community Trauma


As I enter my my second month of work at a new university, I have been observing signs of community trauma. I believe that every human on earth has unresolved trauma.  Trauma can range from experiencing a car accident to the death of a loved one or a divorce to childhood abuse.  Most people have unresolved trauma, and currently living with some form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

I believe our personal traumas can be further worsened or aggravated by community trauma, and those who have less trauma will further experience secondary trauma from others in the community.  Something traumatic happened to this community, and now they are operation 24/7 under fight or flight mode of existence.  These people must live such horrible existences in fear, distress, and triggered trauma.

As I enter this work environment, I am checking on my ego constantly as everyone is operating in perceived fear and crisis mode, and triggering others through secondary trauma.  All decisions must be made by consensus in group of six or more.  Nearly the entire university is operating its programs in fear or crisis mode, and is unaware of what is happening.  The students are feeling the distress, fear, and trauma too.

I have become the calm voice and person in the turbulent storm attempting to calm their fears and distress.  Outsiders who deal with us cannot understand why nothing is working and everyone is fighting amongst each other.  I try to calm their fears with much difficulties as each person is triggering others directly or through secondary trauma.

I asked the Infinite for help and what I should do.  I am told to love them despite not liking these people very much as they will distort the truth, lie, and cheat in fear of getting into trouble.  I am told that I must hold these people accountable for what they do, but must empower them to live at their highest potential.

My conversation with the Infinite is that I will try for one year to see how much progress I can make, then I will move forward to others who are ready to do the hard work of emotional recovery, healing, and growth.  I believe that I am destined to help those who are ready to help themselves.  I ask the Infinite for guidance, strength, and patience along my journey forward. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Relearning Love


During this phase of my spiritual journey, I am relearning love. In my family of origin, I associated love with abuse, violence, narcissism, and fear. The lessons I learned in the past five years taught me that love does not involve yearning, clinging, cravings, insecurity, possession, or jealousy. I have come to realize that I have never truly loved anyone and have never truly been loved by anyone.

I am relearning how to love now in my life. As I have recently learned how to love myself, I am learning how to love others unconditionally. Love is behavior we learn through our family of origin. As an adult now, I am having to relearn how to love others and myself.

Love, particular romantic love, feels very different for me than from my past. I realize now that love is peaceful and safe. It is not only the intensity of sexual attraction  which I believe is temporary. Love feels very different for me now, because the yearning, craving, insecurity, and fear no longer exist in my relationships. Even my friendships, feel different than in my past because they involve mutual respect of our needs and boundaries.

As I progressed in my spiritual journey, I am relearning and experiencing my world completely differently. Sometimes, it feels like I am living another life as someone else. As I experienced my world now, my higher self is telling me that this is real love and that my life has changed forever. ( copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with all rights reserved.)

Love: Living Beyond Dependency


The truth is that most of our relationships are dependencies.  Love is unconditional while dependency requires the condition that we are with the other person or that we serve certain conditions in each other’s lives.  Dependency is a form of addiction.  All my relationships until recently have been dependencies, either serving as a victim or an enabler.

As I move forward on my spiritual journey, I have very honest conversations with myself about who I still have dependency relationships in my current life.  These are the signs I have come to realize that strongly indicate dependency relationships:

  1. If either person fears doing or saying things as the other will become upset or angry.
  2.  If either person become upset or angry when they can’t control outcomes.
  3. If either person is not happy for the other when one is successful and moving forward in their life.
  4. If either person will not allow relationships with third-parties without jealousy, drama, or arguments.
  5. If either person feel that their happiness is dependent on the other in this relationship, and can’t live without the other.
  6. If either person needs to seek love outside of themselves.
  7. If either person is waiting to be saved (victim), or is a care giver (enabler).
  8. If either person blames the other for how they feel or their failures.

If these signs exhibit in your relationships, you have dependency relationships with others. Before I began my spiritual journey five years ago, I exhibited all these signs in all my relationships, and I was a difficult person to be with. I loathed myself, had little self esteem, and gave from a place of lack.  When I raised my consciousness about who I was, it was difficult to see this darkness about myself.

I began to change my life for the better, once I was able to see the truth about myself. I began to learn self acceptance, self love, independence, self sufficiency, and ridding the negative patterns in my life one of which is leaving dependency relationships behind.  Even if these relationships are virtual like on social media, I can still feel their anger and rage through their words and energy.

With each day, I leave more and more dependency relationships behind as I prefer being alone to dependency relationships in my life now.   Sometimes, it takes great determination to leave these people, things, and situations that no longer serve our highest potential.  (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)



Reflections of the Journey


During my spiritual journey, I have encountered so many people.  Some helped and supported me, some taught me lessons, and some reflected back the unhealed wounds within me.  Whoever they were, I had a chance to observe their progress, some from afar.  It is a miraculous things to see others moving forward on their journeys, and many returning home to their loved ones.

For examples, my ex-husband who lived for years alone in the mountains of Virginia away from people has decided to return home to his family in Michigan.  Many have returned home after searching far and wide for sanctuary, escape, or adventure.  Whatever the purpose for our journeys, I observe others moving forward, and that makes my heart happy for them. It is saddest to see people staying stuck somewhere they don’t belong.   Maybe because I remained stuck for many years, floundering, lost, and suffering, and I do not wish this on anyone else.

Today, I said good-bye to my ex-husband as we both have moved forward on our respective paths. It has been an emotional day of letting go.  It feels different than my past departures as it feels like releasing all the hurt and allowing myself to heal. It feels more like the pieces coming together rather than pieces falling apart. With each good-bye, my heart mends as I know I am no longer running away from my past, but moving toward my future.

As we embraced  each other in tears, we let each other go onto our futures.  They were not tears of regret or hurt, but joy that we crossed paths on our life journeys.  My heart is full with gratitude rather than empty with resentment, as I will always love those I have loved even if I am no longer  with them. (Copywrite 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)



I forgive you,

I let you go.

The harm from our past,

Will no longer haunt us.

Karma brought us together,

To help us heal our rift.

It was never meant to be,

You and me.

Many lifetimes of hurt,

Repeating again and again.

I remember you,

Each time,

I could not let you go.

In this life,

We learn to forgive, let go.

For our future,

We shall never meet again,

Be happy, be well.

I will miss you,

As I have always loved you.

This love,

I will always remember.

(Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

At the End of the Rainbow


Have you ever wondered what you would find at the end of the rainbow?  After a long and arduous journey up the mountain on our spiritual paths, what is at the end of this path?  It is with irony that we find our way back to our normal human lives, with the same difficulties, hardships, trials, and tribulations.  The big different is that we have changed.

Before climbing this daunting mountain that is our spiritual journey, we see the world as we would standing at the bottom of the mountain.  When we complete our journey up the mountain, we view our world as if standing atop of the mountain.  We have behind us, all the accomplishments and struggles of climbing to the top of this daunting mountain.

When we complete this journey, we return to our normal lives, but with a completely different perspective through this journey of awakening.  We become thankful and grateful for all that we have, see the world from a positive light, and find our purpose in the world.  Through healing our emotional wounds and learning our life lessons, we find self esteem, self and unconditional love, inner peace and joy, and internal happiness.  We learn to heal others and our world through this love we found for ourselves.  This is how we change the world through changing ourselves.

At the end of the rainbow, we return to our normal human lives as changed being with new perspectives and insights about our lives. At the end of this journey, we take the knowledge and new found feelings back into our normal lives by integrating what we have learned into our existence.  This is what we will find at the end of our spiritual journey to enlightenment.  (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)



Learning to Trust

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This past week has been an exercise for me to learn how to trust men.  My father violated my family’s trust many times with infidelities, lies, deceptions, and his addictions.   I realize now that learning to trust men is my life lesson in this lifetime.  In my emotional work, I take every opportunity in my life to learn different ways of feeling and reacting.  I am beginning to approach those I encounter and in my life in a different way.

This past week, we are deciding on who to hire as a new staff member in my office. The person we all like made a facial misrepresentation on his resume, as he left his job but represented that he was still employed there.  I found this out through a reference check with his current employer.  Initially, I was upset and disappointed with this discovery as I sensed that this young man is decent and kind person.

Instead of making certain assumptions and jumping to conclusions, I decided to contact him to give him an opportunity to explain and the benefit of the doubt. After speaking with him, I believed that he was not intentionally trying to deceive us as he left his job after initially submitting his resume, and he later sent a note apologizing for his oversight.  During my interview with him, I explained that the most important part of our working relationship is trust.  If I don’t trust my subordinates, I will be unwilling to protect them when difficult situations arise at the workplace. I was impressed by this young man who had enough self esteem and awareness to acknowledged his oversight.

As for me, trust begins at home.  We must let go of our past hurts when we were betrayed by those we love. Give up the past, and give those in the present an opportunity to trust them.  I believe that trust is rooted in love, and when we trust someone, we deeply love them in a platonic way, of course.  It is the basis for peace in our world.  We create wars, and conflicts because we experienced past breach of trust and we hold onto that hurt so tightly refusing to let go.  We instead apply the practice of hurt them before they hurt us, or hurt them because they have hurt us.  May we all find peace in our world. (Copyright 2015 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

In the Harmony of Love


You are the warm wind,

Blowing through the desert.

When my heart feels lost,

You are there to comfort me.

The moments of my journey,

Can feel solitary and quiet,

But I know you are there,

In the energetic current,

Flowing freely in bliss.

This is where my journey has lead me,

Through cold desert nights,

And warm sunlit mornings.

Ever flowing as one,

In the harmony of love.

(Copyright 2015 Living Wide Awake with All Rights Reserved)


There is no Love without Courage


People speak regularly of love in the spiritual community.  Love is not words we say, but in the face of difficulty and fear, we continue to love others.  It is facing these difficulties and fears through our courage, yet we still continue to love those in our lives.  We assure those we love that in spite of our difficulties and fears, we still love them.  Today, I am learning how to do just this.

I was driving back from lunch with a friend in her car.  As she was driving, she was not paying attention to the road and almost ran into an oncoming car.  I was very frightened by the near miss of hitting another car, and did not want to be injured.  In the past, I would have reprimanded her for her carelessness.  This time, I cautioned her to be careful, but told her that I love her and want her to be safe.  I assured her that although I felt real danger that I still love her.  I think this made her feel better about her carelessness, and made her feel less guilty.

Sometimes, even in the face of real danger and fear, we can make our point without hurting those we love.  We tell them that we love them, and want the best for them and for us.  Love is one of those emotions that has less to do with what we want or need, and more to do with how we make others feel without dishonesty or passivity.  I am learning how to love others everyday now.  May you find love through your courage. (Copyright 2015 Living Wide Awake with All Rights Reserved)