Losses Along Our Journey

Article by Brooke Chang, Pathway to Joy and Healing

On our spiritual journeys, we experienced many losses along the way. I’m on the 12th year of my journey, and have experienced many losses on this path. I believe losses are an inevitable part of the healing and growth process. As we heal, our vibrational frequency change and become higher. This is the growth that we experience through changes in our behaviors and choices we make that are for our higher good. Another development is that we attract different people into our lives since like frequencies, attract like frequencies. Unfortunately, we also are no longer attracted to those we earlier attracted, since they no longer vibrate at our frequency.  As such, the earlier attraction falls away.

During my journey, I left an earlier marriage, changed my career, and found my life’s purpose. These changes were the result of my emotional healing and growth process. This process also prepared me to meet my current husband who is my soulmate, and for a career that allowed me to help many college students with emotional traumatic injuries. As a result of this healing and growth, I feel happier and more at peace, and finally found my pathway forward.

Many friendships and relationships from earlier periods of my life fell away.  Frequently, it was not I who left the friendship, but it was my friends who no longer felt comfortable around me.  I no longer exhibited the needy, injured, and victimized soul with whom they had become familiar.  My healthier boundaries, demand for respectful treatment, and taking back my power by taking responsibility for myself, made them uncomfortable. In other words, we had outgrown each other. The losses, nevertheless, were still painful and difficult.

One friend, who I met a decade ago when I was just beginning my spiritual journey, was kind and caring toward me because she had suffered greatly in her life as well. Her understanding and compassion helped me during that time. However, a decade later, I am substantially stronger and more healed, but my new found strength and health didn’t necessarily resonate with her, and our opinions conflicted. Our perspective differed and the approach to our lives diverged. It is so hard let go, but this process allows us to further ascend. Many may feel compelled to revert back to their former selves to maintain these relationships, but deep down we know it is not for our highest good. As we navigate on our spiritual journeys, we know forward is the direction we must travel.

Many of my earlier friendships and romantic relationships also were illusory. My earlier emotional needs created these illusions because I did not feel worthy or strong enough, and feared being alone. Nearly in all these relationships, I was the person making plans, sending gifts, emailing, and texting to maintain the relationships over the years.  The truth is that they never were reciprocal relationships or one that I’m willing to accept today.

We can’t hang on to our past and move forward at the same time, because this baggage becomes too heavy for us to carry forward. It is this healing-letting go-growing-ascension process that propels us forward and helps us ascend on our spiritual journeys. The fear of letting go only keeps us stuck in the same emotional state. It is this fear that prevents us from living this new life we deserve. Send unconditional love to those you let go, since this letting go simply is accepting what is in our awakened reality. (Copyright 2023 Brooke Chang with all rights reserved.) 

Facing Karma


Many people deny that they are faced with their own karma. I am beginning to understand my own. I have lived many lives with hurt and pain that I have not forgiven and held a grudge. These reactions create negative karma and energy in our subtle energy bodies.

I have been stuck in this karmic cycle, and even with the same souls for many lifetimes. I am trying to get out of this crazy cycle. The difficult thing about karma is that we continue to create karma as we try to unravel existing karma with others.

Sometimes, there are many layers to unravel as I have found with certain souls I have encountered and re-encountered. As we forgive them for hurting us in the past, there are many more layers of pain and hurt to work through. As each layer is released, the subtle body becomes lighter allowing expansion and alternate outcomes.

I am trying to unravel this karma as these relationships are driven by ego. Ego points fingers outwardly calling others evil, crazy, and other judgmental name calling. Our higher selves do not judge others like this. When we begin to see our own actions in this light. We realize it is our smaller selves acting out of fear. May we all find a higher path, and overcome our own karma. (Copyright 2015 Awakening Journey with all rights reserved)

Losing Ego and Fear


I arrived in Milan by train.  After checking into the hotel, I headed out to see the Duomo or Catholic Church in the Plaza del Duomo.  After dinner and sightseeing, I became lost walking in the confusing streets of Milan. 

In the past, my fears of the unknown prevented me from walking alone particularly in a strange city, and from traveling alone.  Since practicing releasing my ego, my perceived fears are gone, although I do still take practical precautions and use my intuition to guide me.

 Although I was walking alone, I stopped to ask for directions always looking for two or more people for safety reasons. As I had wanted to listen to live music and could not since many venues were closed due to summer holiday in Italy that is July and August, I walked onto an  outdoor rock concert.  I danced and sang along with the Italians, laughing and enjoying myself and feeling so grateful for the synchronicity in my life.

 As I attempted to return to my hotel, I got lost several more times, but was guided by wonderfully helpful and warm Italians along the way.  Even while walking alone late at night on the streets of Milan, I was never frightened.  I truly felt protected trusting my higher self and using my Intuition to guide me. Blessings and light,  Brooke (Copyright 2031 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

The Power of Ego


In the teachings of the Christian Church, there is reference to evil or Satan.  I believe that under Jesus Christ’s teachings, the reference to this evil is the actions of the ego within each of us.  We have within each of us the Divine and the Ego. If we observe evil or harm in this world, it is the actions of humans through fears created by our egos.  There also is great fear of Kundalini by the Christian Church, associating Kundalini Spirit with evil and related to Satan.   The serpent depicted in the Garden of Eden is the symbol for Kundalini.

I do not believe that ego is inherently evil.  It is the actions of man who act upon our fears created by ego that are harmful and hurtful to others.  The ego even creates justifications for the our actions, using our minds to convince ourselves and even using spiritual principles to justify hurtful and harmful actions to others calling it Divine purpose, spiritual love, or Divine plan.  This is exactly what the Christian Church proclaimed during the crusades, and Muslim extremists stated about the 9/11 bombings in the U.S.

If we do not release our egos, our actions will be driven by our egos, and these actions are self serving, and for self gain.  When we are able to act beyond our egos through our higher selves then our actions serve others and will never harm others.  It is simple through observing the actions of others that we can see the truth.  Do their actions hurt others?  Are their actions intended to control others?  Are their actions intended to serve themselves rather than the greater good?

The world is simple, but ego is complicated.  We just need to open our eyes to see the truth.  Blessings to our world. (Copyright 2013 Soul Awakening with All Rights Reserved)

Ego and Mental Illness


I have had an opportunity to observe those with mental illness. What I have observed is that they have extremely over active egos.  This is particular true of those who exhibit paranoid symptoms.  These individuals perceive slights and project harm when it does not exist in reality.

What I believe is happening is that many mentally ill individuals have experienced real harm in their lives whether as children, abusive relationships, and other forms of trauma.  As a result, their egos had to go into overdrive to protect them from real harm.  However, after the real trauma is over, the ego continues to be hyper-vigilant, perceiving fear and harm in their current lives, when none exist.

The ego does not know how to shut itself off, sort of speak, that it continues to replay these fears from the past.  Every situation that reminds them of the past brings up the fears again.  Therefore, when we interact with them, we wonder why they are behaving so strangely, angrily, or erratically.  It also explains why truly mentally ill individuals don’t realize that something is wrong with their reactions and responses, since their egos will not surrender control to allow them to see this.

For mentally ill individuals, ego observing practice is even more important, since their egos are actively controlling every minute of their consciousness lives.  Please see the tab, “Ego Observing Practice” on my Blogsite for this practice.  I believe that ego observing practice maybe one way to cope with mental illness without using powerful medications and other aggressive treatments, since when the body adjusts to those medications, frequently they become ineffective.  May we all find healing within, Brooke (Copyrights  2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved.)

Ego and the Painbody


My sailing trip around Corsica was a journey through ego.  The Captain of this boat was the ultimate ego or false self. He was not only an unpleasant man, but he also was extremely agitated, anxious, and angry.  I actually felt sorry for him since he lives in the state constant fear and anxiety.

As the days passed during our sail, the Captain became more and more erratic as we crewed the boat ourselves. He yelled and screamed at us when he was unable to control his environment. As we were not sailors, when we asked for an orientation on instructions on how to crew the boat, he dismisses us.  When we asked about our port each day, he was unable to give us a destination or time of arrival.

Finally, on the fifth day of our sail, as he left the boat anchored in bad swells to go hiking, and we were left with the boat rocking and the sounds of the dishes clanging in the galley, we all departed the boat to check into a hotel.  There are people who trigger nearly everyone’s painbody. These individuals have so much pain, anxiety, rage, and fear that they are constantly experiencing. These individuals can only cope with their life by releasing their discomfort and rage on others, and do not appear to be able to control themselves.

However, I also understand that the painbody that he triggered was within me.  It is the pain within us that he triggered, and the healing must be within each of us. Although even if my painbody was not triggered, I would have left the boat out of safety for myself.  Infinite light, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Releasing Ego: Practice of Nonresistance and Nonattachment

My sailing trip to Corsica France and solo trip to Italy was an exercise in releasing my ego and beginning to experience full awakening. My first test came during the security checkpoint at the airport.  I had forgotten that I left a Swiss Army knife in my backpack.  When my bag was x-rayed, TSA found the knife.
In the past, I would have gotten very defensive for fear of doing something wrong, and punished myself for making such an error.  Then I would have tried to keep the knife by finding a way so as not to have to forfeit the knife.  This time I just walked away from it and walked to my gate peacefully.
I was able to detach from this object although my ego went through several minutes of how I could have forgotten about this knife in my backpack. Ego identifies with things, ideas, and our past histories.  It is our awareness of this identity that will allow us to release our ego.
During my trip, I listened to the podcast of Oprah Winfrey with Eckhart Tolle on his new book, “A New Earth.”  He believes that awakening is necessary for the humans race because our higher selves inherently know the difference between right from wrong, and thus, we do not need an external source to tell us how to best live our lives. When we hurt others or suffer ourselves, it is the work of the ego. That is why we do not need a guru as we have our higher selves to guide us.
More about my trip to Corsica, France, Cinque Terra, Italy, and Copenhagen, Denmark in my next post.  Blessings and light, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Our Continuous Tests


During our journey, we are continuously tested through our life lessons.  When we overcome one test, there are just more to follow. Recently as I struggle to release my ego, I have been sent a serious of men who irritate the heck of me, and they are the teachers for my life lessons.  These men either cannot follow through this what they agreed to do, or they are overly controlling.  My test in all this is learning not to react, learning to let go, and go with the flow.

My ego is still very active, and wants to control my surroundings and people around me.  So, I either get triggered when someone is overly controlling, or when those who tell me that they will do something fail to follow through, I get annoyed.  For instance, I have sailing and scuba diving trip to Corsica, France coming up. In order for me to scuba dive, I must be scuba certified.  Unfortunately, due to the bad weather, I was unable to complete my open water dive required in my certification until recently.

As I am leaving for Corsica, France shortly, I still need to receive my scuba certification card. I have had to call my scuba certification instructor twice to remind him to process my card so I can dive in Corsica. I lost my patience upon my third telephone call to him, since I paid hundred of dollars to him for his class to receive my certification.

After hanging up the phone with him during my third telephone call, I realized the test before me, and that my patience and need for control is being tested.  I then sent him a text apologizing for losing my patience and expressed my appreciation for processing my certification card. I believe that was what I needed to do to pass this test.

I believe that my trip to Corsica, France on this sailing and scuba diving trip is a test for my ego, and I must learn to release it. I will be spending a week on a sail boat with eight other people, and I know that I will lose my patience and my painbody may be triggered at different times.  At the conclusion of this trip, I will know myself much better, and will see if I passed my tests. Blessings on your journey, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Balancing the Ego


In spiritual practice, ego is viewed as the “bad guy” causing us all sorts of havoc, delusions, and addictions. When we awaken, we begin to understand ego’s control over us.  The truth is that ego evolved to protect us from carnivore predators, danger, and to help us survive.

However, during the course of evolution, the ego has become so dominant that it has begun to control every aspect of our human existence on earth. For instance, we wage wars against others who we perceive to be unlike us to be the enemy.  We try to control the natural world because it is perceived somehow to have an opposing interest to human needs and survival.  Our collective human ego must conquer the world including, space, the oceans, and unknown because we perceive those as separate from us that we then must dominate.

Now in our human evolution is the time to begin to find balance for our collective human ego. However, ego must be done individually with each of us. When we change ourselves, we change the world, as it is said.  We first must begin by releasing our own ego, in our need to control, to separate, to compare, to judge, to criticize, and to find an enemy without. To begin your practice of releasing ego, please see my tab on my blogsite on “Observing Ego Practice.”

The true enemy is the ego within us that we must begin to bring into balance.  Once we bring balance to our own egos, we will begin to bring balance to the collective ego for the human race. Peace and love, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)