Article by Brooke Chang, Pathway to Joy and Healing
Several former clients in my Reiki Therapy practice had asked me about dealing with others’ negative energy. This question may appear simple on its face, but it’s quite complex. When encountering negative energy, we first must evaluate whether this is, in fact, another’s negative energy, or is this our emotional reactions triggered by our encounter with this person.
What we observe in others frequently is a reflection of what is within us. When there is this mirroring, our egos will automatically blame or accuse others for this negative experience, therefore, labeling this person with bad or negative energy. Did you emotionally react or become upset by this interaction? Did you feel any fear or discomfort? If yes, then you were triggered by your encounter with them. Therefore, the emotional injury is within you, and your avoidance of this person will not rid this emotional reaction or fear in the future. The only to way to prevent this recurrence with another is by healing the injured part of yourself. Try to identify the root of the fear or discomfort, and emotional trigger. This conscious awareness of the root cause will begin the healing process.
If you didn’t emotionally react or become upset, and didn’t feel fear or discomfort during your interaction, you simply did not enjoy this experience, and prefer interacting with others, then this may very well be negative energy from the other person. In this situation, you can observe your interaction with them in a detached way, and refrain from identifying with this person or situation. This process transmutes the negative energy to a more neutral one. Frequently, any future contacts may not occur again because the two of you do not attract. Any future interactions may be very superficial and handled with limited contact.
Most negative energy or interactions are emotional triggers causing fear, discomfort, or upset. It is a mirroring within you of the energy from the other person. I have noticed within myself that if I don’t heal this emotional injury within me, this type of interaction simply will repeat with another at a later time. May you find healing within and transmute any negative energy you encounter. (Copyright 2023 Brooke Chang with All Rights Reserved.)
I would love to hear your comments or anything you wish to share below!
Article by Brooke Chang, Pathway to Joy and Healing
On our spiritual journeys, we experienced many losses along the way. I’m on the 12th year of my journey, and have experienced many losses on this path. I believe losses are an inevitable part of the healing and growth process. As we heal, our vibrational frequency change and become higher. This is the growth that we experience through changes in our behaviors and choices we make that are for our higher good. Another development is that we attract different people into our lives since like frequencies, attract like frequencies. Unfortunately, we also are no longer attracted to those we earlier attracted, since they no longer vibrate at our frequency. As such, the earlier attraction falls away.
During my journey, I left an earlier marriage, changed my career, and found my life’s purpose. These changes were the result of my emotional healing and growth process. This process also prepared me to meet my current husband who is my soulmate, and for a career that allowed me to help many college students with emotional traumatic injuries. As a result of this healing and growth, I feel happier and more at peace, and finally found my pathway forward.
Many friendships and relationships from earlier periods of my life fell away. Frequently, it was not I who left the friendship, but it was my friends who no longer felt comfortable around me. I no longer exhibited the needy, injured, and victimized soul with whom they had become familiar. My healthier boundaries, demand for respectful treatment, and taking back my power by taking responsibility for myself, made them uncomfortable. In other words, we had outgrown each other. The losses, nevertheless, were still painful and difficult.
One friend, who I met a decade ago when I was just beginning my spiritual journey, was kind and caring toward me because she had suffered greatly in her life as well. Her understanding and compassion helped me during that time. However, a decade later, I am substantially stronger and more healed, but my new found strength and health didn’t necessarily resonate with her, and our opinions conflicted. Our perspective differed and the approach to our lives diverged. It is so hard let go, but this process allows us to further ascend. Many may feel compelled to revert back to their former selves to maintain these relationships, but deep down we know it is not for our highest good. As we navigate on our spiritual journeys, we know forward is the direction we must travel.
Many of my earlier friendships and romantic relationships also were illusory. My earlier emotional needs created these illusions because I did not feel worthy or strong enough, and feared being alone. Nearly in all these relationships, I was the person making plans, sending gifts, emailing, and texting to maintain the relationships over the years. The truth is that they never were reciprocal relationships or one that I’m willing to accept today.
We can’t hang on to our past and move forward at the same time, because this baggage becomes too heavy for us to carry forward. It is this healing-letting go-growing-ascension process that propels us forward and helps us ascend on our spiritual journeys. The fear of letting go only keeps us stuck in the same emotional state. It is this fear that prevents us from living this new life we deserve. Send unconditional love to those you let go, since this letting go simply is accepting what is in our awakened reality. (Copyright 2023 Brooke Chang with all rights reserved.)
Article by Brooke Chang, Pathway to Joy and Healing
When confronted with danger, people as well as animals may exhibit fight, flight or freeze response. The fight, flight, or freeze response refers to involuntary physiological changes that happen in the body and mind when a person feels threatened. This response exists to keep people safe, preparing them to face, escape, or hide from danger. This is an instinctive survival response. We also may become stuck in one of these trauma responses.
I have suffered from functional freeze response since my childhood trauma. In this state, I was able to highly function as I did well in school and even went onto become a practicing lawyer. However, I have few detailed memories of my childhood or most of my adult life. I felt disassociated from my everyday life and was not present in my body during most of my experiences. Dissociation is a break in how our minds handle information. We may feel disconnected from our thoughts, feelings, memories, and surroundings. It can affect our sense of identity and our perception of time.
I only became aware of my functional freeze response when others in my life recollected in great details about their childhoods and life. I recall major events in my life, but I have few vivid memories of them, and I have limited memories of other events. This made me wonder why that is. I don’t generally have memory problems as I easily recalled the facts in my legal cases with great detail, and can recall legal concepts and cases with proficiency.
Another coping mechanism of the functional freeze response is the need to keep our minds busy. This is another form of dissociation, although highly functional, it prevented me from being present with my past thoughts, feelings, memories and surroundings. It is curious that although I no longer experience the psychological symptoms of my earlier diagnoses: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Major Depression, and General Anxiety Disorder – I still behave as if I do. This conditioned behavior is a pattern from my earlier childhood experiences.
The first step to emotional healing is the conscious awareness of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors by observing them. Secondly, we need to rewire our brain. The brain’s flexible is called neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to rewire or reorganize synaptic connections to form new neuropathways, especially in response to an experience or following an injury. For example, if we drive a certain route to work every day, we can change this route. The brain creates new synaptic connections which allows us learn this new route. Similarly, we can change the patterns of our conditioned routines, behaviors, or responses to create new synaptic connections in our brain.
As for me, I began to stay more present in my life by practicing yoga, meditation, and spending time in nature. I retired from my hectic work life filled with others’ crises and chaos and began writing and journaling – forcing me to reflect and recall my earlier memories. I also am consistently diligent about observing my thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Everyone has a different path, so finding the right path for you is key. I share my path with you so that you may recognize your own emotional issues and conditioned responses and behaviors.(Copyright 2023 Brooke Chang with All Rights Reserved.)
If this resonates with you, please leave your thoughts or comments for me below. I love to hear from you!
Article by Brooke Chang, Pathway to Joy and Healing
Leaving my Reiki practice was one of the more difficult decisions I’ve had to make, as I recently decided to retire from my practice. This decision came particularly difficult because I truly love and care about my clients. When I realized that my relationship with them had been based on codependency on my part and dependency on many of their parts, I felt that leaving my Reiki practice was the best solution in order to take ownership of this problem.
On a cool January day, I walked with some reservation and anxiety to my Reiki studio located in an older mall with a fountain in its center. As I entered the mall, the smell of disinfectant was strong, and the air was cool since the landlord never turned on the heat. I took the elevator to the second floor where I entered a shared suite and reception lounge. The couch and chairs in the reception lounge were modern with a tree of life sculpture hanging on the wall.
As I unlocked the door to my Reiki studio, the smell of a lavender candle lingered in the air which was used for a client from the previous day. In the Reiki studio, two original abstract landscape paintings by my husband hung on the wall along with my Reiki Therapy certificates. Several Himalayan salt lamps and wicker style furnishings were positioned around the small room. Muted light shone through the frosted windows and door. I felt calmer and less anxious as I prepared to tell my first client that we must conclude our time together and about my retirement from Reiki practice.
When my first client arrived, I greeted her cheerfully in the reception lounge and asked her how she was doing as we walked together to my Reiki studio. I took a deep breath and shared the difficult news about the codependency and dependency relationship that I have with my clients and our need to conclude our sessions due to my retirement. To my surprise, she seemed okay with our concluding. She asked a few questions about my retirement and wished me well. With each client thereafter, we had this discussion where I expressed what I needed to address with each of them.
Codependency defined by Merriam-Webster is a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person manifesting low self-esteem and a strong desire for approval has an unhealthy attachment to another person. It places the needs of that person before his or her own. In codependency, a person tries to satisfy the needs of another who may have an addictive or emotionally unstable personality.
My codependency began in my childhood with parents who had addictive and emotionally unstable personalities. I learned to be their emotional care taker, and that setting boundaries was unsafe. My family dynamics were full of abuse, violence, and violation of personal boundaries, as my refusal to comply resulted in more emotional and physical abuse. After I complied with their demands, I suppressed the subsequent rage, anger, sadness, and fear that I felt.
My failure to be able to set healthy personal boundaries plagued me for most of my adult life. I suffered from guilt, obligation, and over-responsibility. My conditioned behaviors continued as I simply gave into others’ demands and gave up my own health, safety, time and resources. This continued into my Reiki Therapy practice.
The dynamic of Reiki Therapy lends itself readily to a codependent practitioner and dependent client relationship. The client has a passive role in their healing as they lie on a Reiki table while the practitioner performs the energy work. The client participates little in this energy healing. The practitioner becomes the caretaker while the client becomes the dependent to this practitioner and her energy work. This dynamic also occurred with my Reiki practitioner, when I received Reiki Therapy earlier on my healing journey.
I further became aware of the lessons that my clients were teaching me. I learned that I can’t save everyone and only they can save themselves. I am only a guide to support their healing journey. I also recognized that I must, as the practitioner, take responsibility to change any unhealthy dynamics with them. I referred many clients to psychotherapy to help them become more independent in their own healing, and to begin to reduce their sessions with me in order to conclude our work together.
Shortly after these conversations with my clients, I experienced a massive energetic heart release. It felt like strong tremors emanating from my heart chakra while I slept; this experience felt like it lasted for hours although I believe it only occurred for several minutes. I had experienced this type of energetic release before after major shifts within my emotional landscape. I also felt a tremendous relief come over me and overall wellbeing. Sadness, loss, and even anger and resentment also came over me, as I re-experienced what I must have suppressed as a child.
The letting go of this codependency is essential for my emotional growth. Each time I let go, I begin to grow, change, and ultimately, heal the trauma that has been stored within my energy field for most of my life. Each growth and change I experience culminates in my spiritual transformation to become the person I am intended to be. Peace and love, Brooke (Copyright 2023 Brooke Chang with all rights reserved. May be reblogged in its entirety with credit to this author, but may not be copied or excerpted.)
Recent incidents in my life have shown me that I have jealousy and distrust issues looming large in my life. I do not trust and have jealousy of my romantic partners that resulted from lifetimes of hurt, betrayal, and rejections. Denial and suppression are no longer working in my life now, so I am seeking alternative methods of dealing with my jealousy.
Jealousy is a very destructive emotion, causing discord, conflicts, and chaos in relationships. I know that this destructive emotion is within me that must be healed and released. I have begun Reiki practice to heal the energetic wounds within me in the hopes of resolving this jealousy issues in my life, and found the following article to be very helpful as well. Take a look: http://www.jealousycontrolled.com/how-to-cure-jealousy/. Sending healing love! (Copyright 2015 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)
Recently, I have come to realize much about myself and the spiritual and emotional healing work that I have been doing. When my Kundalini energy first rose in March 2011, I became acutely aware of being triggered emotionally by most people. After four years of emotional healing work, I have come to realize that I am triggered because of my own emotional wounds within me. It was easier for me to blame those who triggered me for my pain and suffering. However as I heal, I have become aware that I would be triggered emotionally to become upset or distressed while others are not under the same situation.
My coping skill was to run and hide from people, but inevitably when I ran away from one person who triggered me, there would just be another right around the corner. With each layer of healing, I am becoming less and less reactive. However, there are still those in my life who trigger deeper wounds that I have not yet healed particularly in romantic relationship as they trigger deep wounds involving my traumatic childhood.
Another observation is that I accused others of entering my energy field without my permission, and I have come to realize that this energy that I feel is being created by me. When I think about certain people, my energy would reactive differently, and I was really feeling my own energy reacting rather than someone else entering my field without my permission. This revelation has required me to take responsibility for my own energy, and what happens within my own field.
These experiences tell me that I must begin to take responsibility for my pain and suffering and what happens within my own energy field as they are related to the emotional wounds within me. Ironically, these things don’t even have anything to do with the choices we make as it is inevitable that we must interact with others in life. We will be triggered by different people with whom we interact, because we are walking around with these wounds within us. Even when we perceive other’s entering our energy fields, we really are feeling our own energy reacting to a certain situation or person also as a result of our emotional wounds or feelings within.
These revelations have changed my perspective to begin searching for the answers within myself rather than seeking blame or answers externally through others. No true healing will take place as long as we put the focus on the external. May you find true healing in your life. (Copyright 2015 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)
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