PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING

Recently, I have been contemplating the concept of service to others.  My observation is that most service we give to others are conditional, and based on dependency and attachment.  Let me explain.  When we say we are helping others, most frequently, we are trying to rescue another through attempting to effect the outcome of that person’s life.  When we attempt to do this, this is the need of our ego.  The motivation to rescue another is based on dependency and attachment, since we are trying to control another through our efforts.

In many of these situations, the rescued become completely dependent on the rescuer.  Sometimes, individuals will refuse to change because this change is for the rescuer and not for themselves.  Another way is by helping others find the resources they need to become independent without expecting anything in return for our help.  Therefore, when they are ready to leave us, we must be supportive and be willing to let them go.  This is unconditional love.

There are other times that we need to help others for our own self gain, such as to boost our self esteem, to show we are superior, or to get attention and respect.  This is particularly true in teacher-student relationships.  I have a friend who told me that she has outgrown her spiritual teacher, and has been attempting to break away from this relationship.  She believes that her teacher has good intentions in trying to help others.  However, when they are together, her teacher still needs to feel superior about her spiritual knowledge, continues to need her respect and attention, and is unable to let her go to move on spiritually.

In this situation, my friend’s relationship with her teacher is a codependent relationship based on attachment.  Her teacher is codependent on her students to derive her self esteem, to feel superior, and for approval and attention.  Although her teacher may believe in her own mind of her good intentions to help her students as a service to others, it really turns out to be a conditional relationship based on codependency.

Our motivations, our willingness to help others become independent, and our willingness to let them go when they have outgrown us is how to give service to others through unconditional love.  When we give service to others through unconditional love, we cannot expect anything in return for our service.  I know this is a tall order for anyone, but it certainly is a compassionate and worthwhile goal to shoot for.  Blessings to you, Brooke (Copyright 20313 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)