PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING

As an adult who suffered from childhood abuse and lived under a dysfunctional family dynamic, I never learned how to choose healthy friends and relationships in my life.  After two year of spiritual practice and emotional healing work, I finally am figuring things out for myself.  It is never too late to learn how to choose healthy relationships in our lives.

I have come to learn some skills and a clearer perspective on how to choose healthy friendships and relationships. Much of this is done through feelings and awareness about ourselves and others.  Whenever, I meet someone new or reevaluate my current friendships and relationships, I first use observation about others, particularly how they interact with people around them. Do they have similar beliefs as me? Do they behave in healthy, compassionate, and kind ways? Do they consider others feelings and perspectives? This is the easy part!

The next step takes more insight and intuition.  Sometimes, other’s outward appearances or behaviors and what they say are not who they really are.  We need to tap into our own feelings and intuitions about who these people really are.  For example, I met a very attractive and outwardly pleasant woman who we share many interests and are close in age.  When I see her outwardly and on paper, she appears to be the perfect friend.

However, as I dig deeper into my feelings about her, I realize that she uses her attractiveness and intelligence to manipulate people and use others to her own gain.  In other words, she uses her feminine wilds of flattery, attentiveness, and charm to attract others then use them to fulfill her own emotional, financial, and sexual needs. In fact, after realizing this about her yesterday, I have decided to distance myself from her, but still remain cordial during our social interactions, since we share many of the same friends.

Sometimes, these realizations are difficult to face about our friends, since we want to believe the best in everyone.  However, believing that everyone will treat us in our best interest and with kindness is simple unrealistic.  We must be able to differentiate between those who are healthy and we wish to engage and those who are unhealthy and we must, unfortunately, distance ourselves. Blessings of love, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All rights Reserved)