PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING

As I experience my awakening, I have discovered something extraordinary that I never earlier saw.  Since I experienced childhood abuse, I always felt vulnerable, fearful, and defenseless.  I found different ways to defend myself from others who I perceived would hurt me.  I created a powerful male identity within through ego who is tough, strong, and could protect me.  The other way was to attach myself to a man who would protect me from others.   Both methods are unhealthy, since one is based in ego, and the other is a codependency relationship also based in ego. 

I realized this about myself recently when I struggled with separating from a former relationship. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t let go.  I was able to soften my male identity through emotional release practice, and observing ego practice, but I just couldn’t find a way to let go of this past relationship.  Then it came to me, the codependency has to do with my need to derive power through sharing energy with this person, and having him physically in my life. This need is based in fear created by my ego. That is, I feared being injured again by others, so I derived this power through this man in order to protect myself.

 As I began to heal my emotional landscape, I found that I am powerful within my own soul.  I have the power to defend myself not through a male identify, or through another man, but through my own soul. This is an important realization since I know no matter what happens in my life that I am able to care, protect, and defend myself.  We cannot rely on others to do this for us, since others may leave us or die at some point in our lives.  Without ego’s fear of being hurt or abandoned, we can find our way to safety, security, and inner peace for ourselves through the power of my souls.  In the light of love, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)