This morning, I had breakfast with some friends where we had a discussion about our current jobs. One friend is having a hard time with her job where she does not feel appreciated by her supervisor. I shared that I am in the same situation, but that I no longer need affirmation from my employer that I am good at my job, that I am smart, and I am competent in my field. In the past I needed this affirmation from others to feel good about myself.
One of my friends argued that it is nice to be appreciated and affirmed by our employer. I explained that there is a difference between need and want. If we need this affirmation from others, we will surely be disappointed. Because even if others do appreciate us generally, there will be times when those in our lives cannot constantly appreciate us. This is just reality. How we feel about ourselves or self esteem comes from within us. If we give away the power to another to determine our self esteem or worth, we have done ourselves a big disservice.
Sometimes during conversation with others, what I say can hit a raw nerve. This is because others know what I say may be true, but they are unwilling or unable to do the emotional work or make the effort to get to this place in their emotional life. Instead of trying to change themselves and finding self love, they will try to argue with me to prove me wrong to change my point of view. The truth is that this is a disservice to themselves, since they will not change my perspective or opinion as I know that I am on my path, but they have failed to give themselves the love they need. May you find self love, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

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