PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING

For every step forward, there are two steps back, as the saying goes.  After I finally stabilized somewhat over the issues involving my father, I am working on my issues involving my mother.  Her issues are hard for me because my mother suffers from mental illness, so it’s easier to forgive her for her past actions.  Nevertheless, she caused great fear in me when she became angry and out of control with throwing things and physically striking me out of rage.  She also was paranoid believing that others were out to get her and hurt her, so she would emotionally strike back at me with mean and cruel statements when she perceived that I was out to hurt her.

These are hard issues as I have tried to suppress much of this fear of physical and emotional abuse storing so much of this pain in my painbody.  With so much repressed pain in my painbody, I have attracted many women with controlling, competitive, irrational, and erratic behaviors into my life.   Some of these mentally ill women exhibited these similar traits.

When i began working on these issues, I recognize that I have tolerated these behaviors from these women as I have become habituated to being treated in a certain negative way.  It’s an addiction the pain resulting from these negative treatments. As I interact with them, I have felt pain, and understand that it is the pain within my own painbody that caused me to react to these women.   This is the pain within me, and as long as this pain remains within me, I will continue to attract the same in the future.  Healing light and love, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)