PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING

When we experienced and suffered from childhood abuse, we are likely to repeat the same dynamics with others in our lives.  My childhood abuse involved my parents, so I am more likely to be repeatedly abused by others in authority positions in my adult life.  These relationships may involve supervisors, teachers, healing professionals, clergies, and others in position of authority or power over us.

When I encountered abuse by those in positions of authority over me, I was unaware of this abuse as I had become habituated by abuse, and it actually felt familiar and comfortable to me.  It took years of psychological therapy to understand the abuse I suffered as an adult, in addition to my childhood abuse.  Abuse can be very subtle such as emotional abuse when others manipulate, control, and persuade or instruct us to their follow their wishes, and does not necessarily come in the form of physical or sexual abuse/violence.

Many victims may become abusers themselves as this may be learned behaviors or make the former victims feel more powerful by abusing, manipulating, or controlling others.  What I have observed is that both perpetrators and victims all may have been victims at one point in their lives, as abusers abuse as a result of  their own emotional, physical or sexual injuries.  Interestingly, abusers never identify themselves as abusers, but still identify themselves as victims and in turn, blame their real victims as it was done to them.

I see this nearly every day at my job working with college students who are involved in sexual and intimate partner violence.  My intuition tells me that many students have suffered childhood abuse that cause them to more likely become sexual or intimate partner violence victims or become abusers themselves.  I also understand that healing is not only about healing the current sexual or intimate partner violence, but also the underlying emotional, sexual, or physical abuse they suffered as children.  May you first find awareness, and heal the abuse in your life.  Only you have power to break the cycle. (Copyright 2015 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)