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PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING
W. BROOKE CHANG, WRITER & BLOGGER
Practice Staying Present
2 responses to “Practice Staying Present”
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And all of that is from that misconception of those doubts and fears of ourselves. WE ever think ‘what if’, why can’t I’ etc, etc. All from those doubts and fears in our hearts. And life reinforces it with all those terrible things we go through with our doubts and fears right on our chests, facing everything with them ‘on guard’, afraid they might touch us.
And this is why…unintentionally those we love and look up to, usually our parents, pass on their fears to us as they bring us up. They haven’t resolved their fears yet, do not know the answers to them so just keep continually staying ‘on guard’…and pass them on. And yes we are all different, even in the same family…but…they will always affect us. And if you have children at 20 or 30 years old, you haven’t resolved your fears yet either so will pass on your fears to your children too.
As a child, if you feel you have been mistreated by those you love, it leaves a doubt (remember you are only a very young child and your ability to emotionally handle something that you feel is so hurtful is quite limited). And in fact, let me show you something that every child has done. They stick their fingers in their ears and go ‘nahnahnahnah’ to block anything they don’t want to hear. It is their only protection from what they feel is an emotional pain. It’s called wall building around their hearts to keep the pain away. And to them it is so painful that it equates to a total rejection of that love that they have ever looked up to that parent/s for, and because of its pain they block it away inside and will do it so hard because of that pain…that they don’t remember why. In fact they will always remember the action in the way they are treated but not truly understand it. This gets locked in to their personalities at about 8-10 yrs old. And as soon as someone else, usually later in a relationships, treats them that way, this is when the relationship sparks fly. And on they go into adulthood with their ‘bits’ that will take many, many years to finally dare to look into that child’s heart and finally understand why those doubts are there. The answer is in daring (with a good friend, counselor etc), to follow those constant hurts back into your childhood and ask yourself why you felt so hurt by your mom or dad, or sometimes both, and dig down to that feeling that they gave you. It is in there that that child blocked that something, that rejection that began this entire journey. Understand that and it will set you free. It is the one thing we all drag on into all our relationships, all because of an event that neither can help. It is in fact a very important part of understanding unconditional love, by understanding those conditions we unintentionally place on ourselves, on our love to others, those expectations built from our fears and doubts. It is hard, but like you just found…when we suddenly ‘see and understand’ something so powerful as you just have, it leaves you in such a beautiful state because its weight has finally lifted, you understand it and let it go. It is a freedom like nothing else. When you finally understand that child’s fear…the incredible relief, the let go, the beauty in it understanding will bring you to tears, big beautiful tears because you will finally see that love and happiness you have ever been looking for…in you, the one place you have ever doubted. Good luck Brooke, it is a long journey but I promise at its end is something wonderful and it will make every step you have taken so worthwhile ❤️🙏🏽
PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING 
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