PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING

Article by W. Brooke Chang, Pathway to Joy and Healing

As a person who moved around the United States frequently for my work, I am constantly seeking new friends and my tribe. This seeking is impacted by my past conditioning as a child where my immediate family members were demanding of me and my time. They infrequently reciprocated and were abusive and manipulative in dealing with me. My family of origin, unfortunately, is not my tribe. As a result, I am constantly trying to overcome this condition.

Not unsurprisingly, my past family history caused me to befriend many users, abusers, and manipulators. This is the cause of many of my failed romantic relationships and friendships throughout my life. Recently, I experienced a profound realization after the death of my mother.

I recently had my first art show, and invited two friends to my show. One friend, who I drove biweekly for nearly a year for 30 to 45 minutes each way for our regular brunch dates near his house, did not attend my art show. On the last day of my art show, he informed me that he was unable to attend, making a polite excuse. He has made these excuses earlier with me when he needed to change our brunch dates. Throughout the one year we met for brunch, he never once offered to drive near my home. Sadly, I considered him a good friend in my new location.

During my art show, I also received a message from my brother that my mother had just passed away after a severe fall at the age of 89 years old. The death was not shocking due to her age. The revelation that came to me was what surprised me. As I restlessly slept one evening after receiving my brother’s message, I realized that this friend treated me exactly as my mother had treated me for most of my life. They both had the same attitude of “what have you done for me lately?” They both expected to receive substantially more from me than what they were willing to give back.

The first step of finding those who treat you well is to recognize those who treat you poorly. We cannot find our tribe if we are constantly attracted to those who treat us poorly. It is recognizing those who treat us poorly before we can find those who treat us well, our tribe members. This epiphany that came to me during the night was so clear and unequivocable. When I awoke with this new found knowledge, I knew there was only one thing to do. I informed my “friend” of my disappointment that he failed to support me during my first art show, and I canceled our upcoming brunch date. I am longer in communication with this “friend” after my epiphany.

You teach others how to treat you. If you allow neglect, mistreatment, or manipulation in your relationships and friendships, then that is how others will treat you. The good news is that another friend who I invited to my art show, attended my show and even purchased a small painting. In my get-together with him, he immediately offered to come to my neighborhood for lunch without my prompting. I put out this energy into the Universe that I seek those who care, support, and treat me well. The Universe immediately responded in kind. Our thoughts, speech, and actions, send out certain vibrational frequencies that will respond in kind. This is the nature of Karma. Through this experience, I have learned to better seek and find my tribe. May you find your tribe. ~ Brooke

(Copyright 2023 W. Brooke Chang with all rights reserved. The contents may be reblogged in its entirety or hyperlinked to this article with credit to the author, but may not be duplicated, copied, or excerpted.)

If you enjoyed this post, please leave me a message below and subscribe to my blog! 🙂