PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING

In my recent emotional healing work, I’ve had to grapple with the understanding of unconditional love.  Conditions of love are those requirements or demands we make on others to meet our emotional needs also known as dependency or attachment.

For example, we have requirements for our partners or lovers to able to be financially stable, artistic, athletic, have a certain personality, give us attention, or satisfy our sexual desires.  These are conditions we place on others because they meet our emotional needs. Frequently, when others fall shorts of our demands, we leave them.  This is the problem with relationships and marriages in our society resulting in the high rate of divorce.

In my personal life, my relationships have failed because when my partners failed to provide these conditions that I placed on them, I ended the relationships with them.  First of all, it is impossible for any one person to meet all of our emotional needs, and secondly, how long can one person keep up all these demands.

In place of these conditions that we place on others to fulfill our needs, we must give this love to ourselves or self love.  Today, I had lunch with one of my close friends at work, and she talked about how she doesn’t get the recognition or approval from her supervisor.  Well, I told her that I don’t get any recognition or approval from my supervisor either.

What I suggested to my friend is that we must give ourselves the recognition and approval that we seek from our supervisors, because that need may never be met through them. When we seek approval and recognition from others, this is a form of dependency or attachment.

Sometimes, we are lucky to find kind, understanding, and caring supervisors, but most of the time, we don’t.  Giving ourselves the recognition and approval in these situations are a form of self love.  When we learn to care, nurture, and praise ourselves, we no longer need this from others.  Self love allows us to break that bond of dependency with others, and is unconditional love for ourselves.  Infinite love and light, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)