PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING

After giving up my codependency relationships recently, I have come to some insights about becoming free of attachments.  I can confidently say that nearly all of our relationships are based in attachment in that they fulfill a need in our life.  Relationships based on unconditional love is not based in need that is if we must leave our loved ones or they leave us, we can continue to be happy with our current life.  We are able to truly achieve unconditional love in relationships once we are able to give ourselves love, and become emotionally and physically self sufficient.

The most difficult hurdle in becoming free of attachments is leaving our relationships based in attachment. Most people are able to give themselves love in their current life, but do not become emotionally or physically independent. Because in order to become completely self sufficient and independent, we must leave those relationships. Many are fearful of leaving relationships that we have been attached to for many years due to emotional dependency.  Others are fearful to be alone without financial support.

When we leave these relationships, it is not leaving those we love but leaving the attachment and codependency behind.  We can return to these relationships later, but the feeling with them will be very different. We will not feel that we need these people to complete us because we have gained self love, and have an independent life of our own.  We begin to give love, affection, and support without expecting anything in return because we are able to give ourselves this love.  We live without expectations of outcome in our relationships with them because we no longer fear our loved ones leaving us. We become aware of our ego’s need for attachment, and learn not to react to ego’s fears and doubts.

A warning is that when we are leaving those dependency relationships, it will feel very scary and uncertain. Our instinct is to latch onto another for help or a shoulder to cry on.  Refrain from running to another, since it will only continue the dependency or attachment habit just with a different person. Then, we must break that attachment and dependency relationship as well, creating twice as much work and effort for ourselves.

Therefore, it takes great effort and courage to find emotional and physical independence.  These are long term efforts.  Emotional independence requires healing our emotional wounds and pains, and physical independence may require going back to school or improving our skills in our jobs.  I realize that all this requires courage and hard work, but the results are life changing and miraculous bringing great peace, joy, and sheer bliss within us.  ~ Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)