PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING

I have a wounded alpha personality.  Let me explain what I mean.  I am a highly driven and motivated person who experienced emotional trauma.  Having an alpha personality is a double-edged sword.  I can accomplish and learn things very quickly and am driven to achieve, but my ego is strong and domineering.  My wounded emotional landscape makes my ego very fragile and easily injured and offended. This is a tough combination to handle.

I see many of my peers with this type of personality at my college where I work, since many earned graduate degrees accomplished through their alpha personalities, but many have wounded emotional landscapes as well like me.  This is not a judgment of myself or others, but merely to demonstrate and describe a wounded alpha personality.

When we have this personality type, our egos are very hard to release. It takes great determination and vigilance to observe ego’s insidious thoughts eliciting negative emotions and then our subsequent negative reactions.  Our egos have helped us succeed in accomplishing our goals and have protected us against emotional trauma and injuries thus far.  Now, we are asking ego to take a back seat. This is not an easy endeavor!

As I battle my ego each and everyday, I try to be compassionate and patient with my efforts.  There are days that I still react, but try not to punish myself for not catching my egoic thoughts early enough.  I tell myself that everything will be okay, and that I can only do my best.  This is self love.  It is through this self love that we will overcome ego’s hold over us.  ~ May you find love for yourself today, Brooke. (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)