PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING

W. BROOKE CHANG, WRITER & BLOGGER

Living without Expectations of Outcome

When we live without expectations of outcome in our lives, we end our own suffering. I recently have come to understand this very well, and practice this now. This process is part of coming to acceptance about the reality in our life and surrender to that which we cannot control. Expectations of outcome is the work of the ego satisfying its emotional needs.

I have been reading different blogs on twin flames. Many of the these blogs recommend making decisions in our current life based on expectations of outcome of a possible future with their twin flames that may not even come to fruition. Just because one finds his/her twin flame does not automatically mean they will unite in this or future lifetimes. One blogger mentioned that she would marry someone with the expectation that she would leave that person when her twin flame finally decides to be with her. I find this practice troubling, if not unhealthy to one’s life.

In spiritual practice, we try to live a freer, more peaceful, compassionate, and loving life with less suffering. When we place these expectations on our relationships, people, and events in our lives, we begin to suffer whenever these expectations are not met. In fact, when we give up our expectations of outcome with someone, we actually free ourselves from that person.

This is true when we love someone, who does not return our love. It is this expectation of the return of love that grasp a hold of our hearts that prevents us from moving forward with others through allowing them into our hearts. Our hearts can love many people, but expectations of outcome is not love at all; it is simply attachment or dependency of another based in ego.

When we are able to let go of these expectations with another, the suffering ends, and we can wish them happiness and joy by sending them unconditional love since not receiving their love in return no longer hurts us. To reach this place gives us peace and freedom, finally allowing us to live a life in the present moment as we experience the natural unfolding of our life along our chosen path. ~ Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Brooke’s Blog

June 4, 2013

ascension, awakening, ego, emotional healing, relationship, spiritual journey, spiritual practice, twin flames, twin souls

ascension, awakening, Expectations of outcome, spiritual practice, Twin flames

14 responses to “Living without Expectations of Outcome”

DB, Joka

June 4, 2013 at 9:35 am

Brooke, it is as if you are speaking what i have been thinking, believing, deciding for myself 🙂 i had extensive discussions with my mentor and Jungian analyst as well about all this. I would like to add that since we come to face the choice of self-love, which should be as much and more than our love for another, especially since we are trying to heal our traumas, so it is important that we do not keep on waiting endlessly, put our life on hold, keep expecting the other person to value us as much we did them; also to not ever put ourselves in that situation or relationship where the other is not available for us, as we are there for them. it is important to understand the right meaning of ‘unconditional’- should never mean, exposing oneself to hurt, devaluation repeatedly and lack of commitment of a good friendship/relationship.

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1. kundalinispirit
  
  June 4, 2013 at 10:31 am
  
  We are synchronized in our thoughts! I recently learned that unconditional love does not mean giving up love for ourselves by being exposed to hurt, devaluation, and lack of commitment in a relationship. This understanding has allowed me to arrive in this place where I have given up my expectations to outcome. I follow Jungian practice myself, so I am in full agreement. With love and blessings, Brooke
  
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createmusic

June 4, 2013 at 9:34 pm

Reblogged this on Higher Density Blog.

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1. kundalinispirit
  
  August 7, 2013 at 5:02 pm
  
  Thank you, as always. Light and peace, Brooke
  
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Living without Expectations of Outcome | Love, life, shits & giggles

June 5, 2013 at 3:16 pm

[…] Living without Expectations of Outcome. […]

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1. kundalinispirit
  
  August 7, 2013 at 5:01 pm
  
  Thank you for the honor. Blessings of light, Brooke
  
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Stacy

July 17, 2013 at 3:40 pm

For a long time I was guilty of expectation from my twin flame, and began to see him slowly withdraw from our union. It was that withdrawal and eventually distant, cold behavior, that led me to step back and realize that I had unresolved issues of past regret that I was bringing into a possible future relationship. I blamed him for not reciprocating my feelings, and he eventually showed tough unconditional love, as I called it, but never once gave up on me. That distant silent learning process is what led our hearts back to that divine reunion that is often spoken of in twins. I realized that I must first know what unconditional love really is. I had to find my higher self in order to experience that the true value of a companion is not about making one feel happy, the completeness, but the ability to love on all levels, and to never blame another for not feeling as I do. My twin flame gave me room to grown, think, feel, and realize that I was hurting myself. It was only then that the radiating light from my true higher self, was absorbed and led him back into my life. Letting go of someone isn’t a bad thing; it teaches the other person to see life from a different perspective, and to appreciate unconditional love without expectations. He is absolutely my best friend in life, and those expectations blinded me. We want to feel that love, happiness, and joy from another, but in truth the love, happiness, and joy must first come within ourselves; you must first learn to love yourself, before you can truly love another.

With Infinite Love, and Gratitude,

Stacy

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1. kundalinispirit
  
  July 17, 2013 at 4:10 pm
  
  Hi Stacy, thank you for sharing your story about your twin flame. I have given up my expectation for mine for we have parted, and I am trying to heal from my emotional pains and finding love for myself now. I don’t know if I will ever be with him again, but I am willing to accept whatever unfolds in my life now. I am sad for this loss, but I know this is the path that I must take for my life. Your message is quite timely for I have been grieving for many months, but have come to acceptance. Whatever my life brings to me, I shall accept graciously and with gratitude. Blessings and love to you, Brooke
  
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2. Star
  
  July 18, 2013 at 1:54 pm
  
  Stacy, you have reunited with your twin? I am just going through this now…the acceptance part. Honestly I have always been “spiritual” but meeting my twin really forced me to see every issue I had with myself and even that I had developed a spiritual ego. I asked for him to come to me in prayer but I was the runner and I was the one who was scared. I ran so much but fate kept bringing us together. Finally after pushing him so far away he moved on to another girl and moved back to his home country. Now he is running. And this caused me the most pain of all. It puts everything wrong I have ever done to him and everyone else in the spotlight (and I have had the blessing of seeing my past lives where I acted the same exact way towards him). Now I’m finally realizing that I need to let go and only then will god bring us back together again in this life or another life when we are ready. Personally I feel that it will be this life since we are both pretty spiritual and always wanted something special together and want to help the world together. And it seems we are going through the twin flames processes in fast forward. I go back and forth between being fearful and knowing he is and always was and always will be a part of me. We cannot lose our twins when they are part of us right? We are lucky to go through this ascension as painful as it is to burn karmas and let go of negativity.
  
  Thank you for this…much love ❤
  
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  1. kundalinispirit
    
    July 18, 2013 at 2:08 pm
    
    Thank you for sharing your story with us. I believe that during the separation period with our twin flames we must learn to release our egos, learn to live without expectations of outcome with our twin flames, and learn unconditional love for ourselves and others. It is through this process that we learn to live without fear, so the union with our twin flames can be possible, since it was never about them, but always about us. We must heal ourselves and learn self love before we can truly love another unconditionally. Much love to you, Brooke
    
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    1. Star
      
      July 18, 2013 at 2:45 pm
      
      You are so right…it is about “us”. My twin always said that. It’s not you and it’s not me, it’s us. The sooner I can let go of the fear and control, the sooner we both can heal and move on to the better stages. The faster the karma will burn if we accept our lessons and accept each other and realize we asked for this opportunity to ascend together. We’ve been together since the beginning and everything we are experiencing we agreed to go through together. That makes me feel less guilt for running and pushing him away and it helps me to understand why he might need time away from me while he’s in another country with another girlfriend learning his lessons. All in time…just trying to fill my days with happiness again and good creative release and spiritual acceptance. 🙂 I thought I was really finding true happiness before he came along and proved me wrong! Now I can only imagine what bliss lies ahead of us ❤
      
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Star

July 18, 2013 at 1:55 pm

I forgot to click for updates and replies 🙂

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Edel Marie

August 9, 2013 at 4:01 pm

Twin Flame Love for me is simply bringing Divine Love which is Heaven’s Love to earth. To many people this is difficult to understand, when the time arises we can explain to people the true meaning of Twin Flame Love. Over the past few weeks I have being reading alot about Twin Flames and have learnt so much.

Brooke as you so beautifuly put it loving yourself is the biggest gift that you can give yourself then you are ready to meet your Twin Flame. Twin Flames always meet in Divine Timing, they teach each other so much, since they are a true mirror of each other. Twin Flame Love knows no rules because there are no rules where Love Abides and Grows. One of the most beautiful gifts that my Twin Flame has given me is the power to forgive others and release everything to Heaven that no longer serves and send them so much unconditional love that will open there hearts when the time is perfect for them. More and more people are opening there hearts to Twin Flame Love which is bringing Heaven even closer to Earth which is one of the biggest miracles that Heaven has given Earth.

Twin Flames now are not living in fear they are living a freer life because the timing is so perfect for us to be on earth. Our twin flames teach us and we teach our twin flames, so as we assend to Heaven knowing that we are not seprate from each other, we are part of each other we grow in Heavenly Love. I came accross a Sanskrit saying that goes like this” Om padamar mounamar” in English this translates as We dedicate our Union to a greater source for me that is the true essence of Twin Flame Love. Love and Blessings on Angel Wings to you Brooke. Love Edel Marie

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1. kundalinispirit
  
  August 9, 2013 at 4:25 pm
  
  Hi Edel, “We dedicate our Union to a greater source” is a beautiful mantra for Twin Flames that I send to twin flames everywhere! Much love and light to you, Brooke
  
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