PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING

My childhood was not one of garden parties and Barbie dolls. At the age of 13, I walked in on my of father having sex with my aunt, his brothers’ wife.  This trauma during my adolescence left me scared and wounded. I believe that he had several other affairs, betraying and deceiving my mother and my family. The sad thing is that he never even acknowledged the hurt he caused my family.

In fact to date, I do not believe that he thinks he has done anything wrong.  It was always my father getting his sexual and emotional needs met, no matter who he hurt or how.  My father is very emotionally troubled, and has come up with a litany of explanations and excuses about his dysfunctional, deceitful, and hurtful behaviors.

As an adult, I began to breakdown the barriers around these dysfunctional, deceitful, and hurtful behaviors by first, not tolerating these behaviors in my life, and refusing to cover up these behaviors to protect another.  As a child, I held onto my father’s secrets in trying to protect him, but the truth of the matter is that I was hurting myself.  I ended up bearing the burdens of his dark secrets, perpetuating his dysfunctions by hiding them, and helping him to continue this behavior, thereby continuing to hurt me and my family.

I have distrusted men in my life because of my father’s betrayal with my mother and my family; I feared that all men are cheaters and philanders.  We must change our own behaviors by not covering up hurtful, deceitful, and dysfunctional behaviors of those we love.  When we cover them up, we become enablers in this behavior, essentially becoming part of the dysfunctional behaviors ourselves.  As an adult now, I begin to take responsibility for my part in the dysfunctional dynamic of my family. ~ Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)