PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING

For a long time, I have not felt this way, but today I didn’t feel good about myself.  Learning has always come easily to me, so I have always been the accomplished student. Every year, I take on new hobbies.  This year I began guitar and voice lessons, and learning tango dancing. Last year, it was rock climbing, and salsa dancing.  The year before was furnace hot glass blowing, and flameworking.

It happened today during my apprenticeship at a hot glass studio.  Although, I was never the best glassblowing apprentice, I always felt competent. Today as we were creating goblets that had many difficult steps during production, and the glass color we used was particularly temperamental, I felt responsible when several steps didn’t work out.  It was frustrating for all involved, but I felt particularly responsible.

The interesting thing about feeling this way is that these are old feelings, almost like someone else’s feelings and not mine.  They were old patterns of self doubt and feeling unworthy.  The glass artist I work for never once said anything negative, although I felt her frustration energetically. As we are still trying to create goblets as a production item, the process in getting down the steps effectively can be frustrating.

Even now, after many years of emotional healing work, there still are days that I revert to my old habits.  It is my keen awareness of my feelings that will help me change my reactions within myself. The truth is that when I feel this way, no one is hurt by it except for me. Infinite love and light, Brooke (Copyright 2014 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)