PATHWAY TO JOY AND HEALING

This morning, I attended my yoga and meditation class, and we worked on meditation for the heart and opening our hearts. Today is a good day to discuss what love is? All during my childhood, I heard my parents say repeatedly that, they “love me,” and this mantra is heard regularly in my home.  However, the behaviors and actions of my family members did not show love.

What I experienced and observed was physical, sexual, and emotional abuse in my home between family members.  There was lying, deceit, secrets, and emotional manipulations that created distrust and suspicion between my family members.  There was codependency, dysfunctions, and boundary violations from sexual abuse, and there was fear, terror, and physical injuries from physical abuse. As an adult, I associated this abuse with love.

In my adult life, I continued this pattern of abusive and harmful behaviors with those in my life, and I continued to be abused in my adult life. I have since forgiven my parents for the abuse I suffered, endured, and survived to heal from my childhood trauma.  Although I have forgiven them for the abuse, I still acknowledge their abuse and do not deny or defend what they did.  What they did to me was wrong, but I don’t need to hang onto the hurt of my past. It is through this forgiveness that I have learned what love truly is.

Another part of love is self love that we do not need to tolerate continued abuse and manipulation either.  Forgiveness does not mean that we roll over passively to allow others to continue to abuse and manipulate us, and we do not need to allow them into our lives if they refuse to stop these harmful behaviors.  Abusers may not like to hear this as they may still be in denial about their abusive behaviors and manipulative actions.  If the abuse and manipulations continue, we must be prepared to walk away from them, but we can still send them our love everyday. (Copyright 2014 Living Wide Awake with All Rights Reserved)