Category: trauma
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Creating Our Illusions
Through addiction, we create an illusion for our lives. Some are addicted to people called codependency, some to places called destination addiction, some to substances such as drugs or alcohol, and some to activities such as work, gambling or gaming. Addiction is a form of self medication or negative coping skill we developed to deal…
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Building Trust
As many of my readers know about my history, my father was a philanderer who lied to my family to hide his philandering. As an adult, I became attracted to philanderers and liars. My resulting adult life was filled with angst of distrusting men and suspicious of their intentions and actions. In the recent past,…
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First Step to Transformation
It has taken me most of this lifetime to find inner peace. It has always been illusive to me because I wanted to control everyone, everything, and all situations around me. As a person who experienced childhood abuse, this is the natural response after experiencing trauma. Most people are on auto pilot using the same…
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Understanding Rage
I have come to understand that all humans have rage, but just in differing degrees. This rage is the result of unadressed accumulated painful or traumatic experiences over the course of many soul lives. Rage can be expressed outwardly or inwardly, or a combination of the two. I have observed many who turn their rage…
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The Feeling of Letting Go
How do you know if you have healed your emotional pain? I explain this to many seuxally assaulted students with whom I work. You know because you no longer are triggered by people, places, and events that remind you of the trauma or negative experience. This is what I have learned. Recently, I looked back…
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Healing the Heart
The human heart is so very fragile and yet resilient. It is able to endure so much pain and hurt, but it also can easily be wounded by those we love. Recently, during a meeting with a sexually assaulted student with whom I worked disclosed that she had been sexually abused as child, tears streamed…
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The Secret to Transformation
For most of my life, I had been living a life I don’t want. I suffered from childhood abuse, had failed marriages, and attracted drama-filled, self-destructive, and sometimes, violenct lovers and friends, and worked at unfilling jobs – essentially living the life of a victim. I have come to realize that each of us has…
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Building Something New
For four years, I was unable to let go of a really awful and destructive relationship. It had every possible destructive aspects to it. There was lying, cheating, abuse, addiction, betrayal, deception, infidelity, among others. What bound me to this man was that I too had all of these destructicve aspects to me, so like…
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Survivor: No Longer a Victim
During the course of my recent recovery and evolution, I have come to realize an important distinction between victim and survivor. The key distinction is that a victim recognizes the harm or traumatizing experience and does little beyond recognizing it. A survivor goes beyond recognition through action to protective onself. I have met many people…
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Facing My Dark Night
During the Dark Night of the Soul, many issues of betrayal and trust have come up for me. In order to engage in healthy relationships with others, I must overcome these fears of betrayal and trust as well as change my own decisions and behaviors. My first experience with betrayal and trust began with my…
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